Is that two e"s? United fans are fuliminating with optimism, a bit like one flew over the cuckoos nest planning to bust out.

And its well founded taking into account the marquee free transfers, theres Tutankamuns mummy, a beatnik in a coffee bar, and someone i though i had met previously, at an autopsy, and even back then i wondered if the subject of attention had all the mobility of a Cambridge player.

Corr said that Jason Cousins was a proper player, and will become a fans favourite, United havent had one of those, a proper player, since Becks time, had a lot then.

There will be games, no most games, oh, all the games where watching a vacuum cleaner will be more entertaining than watching united, and turning a light switch on and off.

At half time United should put a play on, on the pitch, the language in half greek and half in latin, no one will know whats going on, like the first half, and the second, and previous games.

It must be a tragedy in keeping with the performances and history of the club.

That the hero, the chairman, allows an Asp to bite him, and he falls down dramatically, to the titters of the crowd. This will prepare the crowd if there is one, for the tragedies to come on the pitch, like Lankester blasting over from three yards.

And hitting a board put up by Boner that has an arrow pointing at the goal.

As always, kicking off is always a disadvantage, delaying it, or not doing it at all is better. Then again, why not show off marquee free transfers?, its bound to be good, roll on.