On the radio today.

Guy in England walking Doon a busy shopping street......has a wee bump with guy coming the other way.

He says " oops sorry mate my bad "

Other guy says " watch where you are going you idiot "

Guy retorts " I said sorry you bloody wet lettuce "

Both go on their way.

A few days later guy gets a knock on the door from 2 polis.

He invites them in.

Polis guy informs him that he's filming

Then polis says he's being investigated for the incident with the guy he bumped into.

The other guy claimed the term " wet lettuce " was a homophobic slur.

Now I've had a guid scan of the internet and I can't find anywhere where wet lettuce is a homophobic slur

Anyway guy basically tells polis to GTF.

But here is the best bit.....the guy that complained is a " fire fighter " 😂😂😂

Now I stretch this a bit but imagine the fiery sitting on the shrinks couch......" Bradford was horrific, Grenfell I have nightmares about but some **** called me a wet lettuce.....I just can't function"

And.

If somebody calls me a catty cabbage.....can I just phone the polis and claim it's a homophobic slur?