If the dings had won at reigning champions leicester the express and turd would have 96 page pullout special declaring the dingles as the "new champions of england".

Thelwell would be trying to arrange a game with real madrid to arrange another floodlit (subject to the illegal electric supply from asda not being discovered) european night to decide the "champions of the world" (subject to drought).

Such a game would give a new meaning to ronaldo and bale's diving.

If danny (needs a) bath doesn't lift the world cup after the game the 3,400 hardcore would boo him and chase him back to his brierley hill home shouting "we'm wolves, ain't we".