Dear John,

It is plainly a case of delusional behaviour on your part, in a classic 'avatar complex', where you have assumed the role of a gangster figure.
You must understand, you are not a gangster; you are not in the Mafia; you are not special because you write in Dundonian, ................................but you are special

May I prescribe attending identity management classes?
Here is a link, psychoticfunstersrehab.com

I have also included a couple of suggestions for your new identity, which should provide a calming influence and be more connected to who you truly are.

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Arabest,

Professor Donald A. Balderson