Just got back from Bradford and I must say I met one of the nicest ethnic minority couples in the place.
George and Shelia.
A magician worked on a cruise ship. The audience was different each week, so the magician did the same tricks over and over again.
There was one problem. The captain's parrot saw the shows each week and began to understand how the magician did every trick. Once he understood, he started shouting in the middle of the show "Look, it's not the same hat!" or, "Look, he's hiding the flowers under the table," or "Hey, why are all the cards the ace of spades?" The magician was furious, but couldn't do anything. It was, after all, the captain's parrot.
Then the ship sank. The magician found himself on a piece of wood in the middle of the sea with, as fate would have it, the parrot. They stared at each other with hatred, but did not utter a word. This went on for a day and then another and then another. Finally on the fourth day, the parrot could not hold back and said, "OK, I give up. Where's the fuqin ship?"
Donald Trump and Bernie Sanders are sitting in a bar.
A guy walks in and asks the barman, 'Isn't that Trump and Sanders sitting over there?'
The bartender says, 'Yep, that's them.'
So the guy walks over and says, 'Wow, this is a real honour! What are you guys doing in here?'
Trump says, 'We're planning WW III.'
The guy says, 'Really? What's going to happen?'
Trump says, 'Well, we're going to kill 140 million Muslims and one blonde with big tits.'
The guy exclaimed, 'A blonde with big tits? Why kill a blonde with big tits?'
Trump turns to Sanders and says, 'See, I told you, no one gives a $hit about the 140 million Muslims.’
(linky) ....https://twitter.com/footbalIfights/s...03846221434880