It has just been announced that RUFC are to make a formal complaint to the Football League following the discovery of video footage shot by a much travelled and well respected Millers Supporter. The footage appears to show a Southend player shoving a large roll of emery tape down the front of his shorts. Several members of the RUFC team inspected the match ball following their humiliating defeat at Roots Hall. "The ball had clearly been tampered with", said WV who wished to remain anonymous."It had been polished on one side and sand-papered on the other. This caused the ball to swing violently and unpredictably"

"It was a fu cking nightmare", said SA who also wished to remain anonymous."Every time the ball bounced I didn't know whether to have a sh1t, shave or haircut. I don't know whether our supporters spotted it but this caused me to misdirect my passes on a couple of occasions".

Southend United FC refused to comment officially, although the club's captain, who wished to remain anonymous, claimed that the allegations were completely unfounded. "There was absolutely no cheating or gamesmanship. Bobby, the guy seen shoving tape down his shorts was doing so to strap his huge donger to his leg",

Southend have been given 14 days to respond officially.