Mhisty Tim sent me some pm's just before the last Dundee derby to arrange a 'meet'. I naturally presumed he meant a straighter and I was looking forwarded to smashing the melts coupon in, he even said he was coming up from Es*** for this.

Imagine my confusion when I turned up to find a balding fat 60 something with a bunch of flowers in his hands, waving an hotel reservation in his grubby paws, it was 100% mhisty tim though as he said he would be wearing a baseball cap with the letters 'KLM' on the front. Boy, did I leave in a rush, do doubt that stinking mess will claim I did a runner