FAO / Bass_turd (or Swale)

[AirplanePie]

As many of you know, Tarqers and I are close friends, and have been ever since I fell victim to Stockholm Syndrome as he tirelessly tracked me through the Costa Rican jungle.

Since then we've been through thick and thin together and now the bond is so strong that he pretends not to know which multiple accounts are really mine. With this in mind I'd like to launch the campaign for Tarqers to be the next mod of NCM.

Sure, some people might be worried about him having access to their personal info but let me tell you, I have no regrets about giving him my email address, although I do wish I hadn't told him I was a wildlife expert - the constant stream of photos from the hot tub asking if can confirm sightings of a 'one-eyed trouser snake' can get tiresome.

Each to their own I say, I just hope the FSB aren't hacking my connection, they have a special place at the Lubyanka for people who like that sort of thing. The goats seem to enjoy it though, and I'm not talking about the bubbles.

As you can see I've mellowed out quite a lot during my time away, but if any of you pricks don't agree with what I've written I'll happily see you at the next home match for a proper sort out. I have to warn you I've been training with the Zenith St Petersburg ultras so hopefully now you'll give me the respect I so deserve. I'll be the one sitting in the Pavis with a bare chest (if you can't find me ask your missus, she'll have noticed me alright )

TARQERS IN!

Dasveedanya mofos,

Vlad, sorry AirbornPie...**** sorry AirplanePie

[i961pie]

Tarqs has got as much chance of being a mod as we have winning the premier league

[SwalePie]

Tarqs has got as much chance of being a mod as we have winning the premier league

Lump on!

[lunaspie]

Tarqs has got as much chance of being a mod as we have winning the premier league

Tarquin a mod ? You must be off your rocker.

[tarquinbeech]

Tarquin a mod ? You must be off your rocker.

....and there was me counting on your vote.

ps....is bribery out of the question?

[lunaspie]

....and there was me counting on your vote.

ps....is bribery out of the question?

A moped might come in handy.

[tarquinbeech]

A moped might come in handy.

You and I talk the same language......do I know you?

Me, test-driving the new Yamaha moped, 38,000 pesos, in my car-park....complete with a bottle of Bad King John from Oxford, 6% abv.

My blue "Hacienda" sign on the road has a discontinued phone number for those thinking of zooming in......cannot be arsed to get out the ladders and change it

[AltyPie]

....and there was me counting on your vote.

ps....is bribery out of the question?

Of course you should be a mod Tarkers - box ticked.

(PS - Where do I send those few err... "Postal Votes" we talked about? There'll need to be HGV parking, Cheers)

[tarquinbeech]

Of course you should be a mod Tarkers - box ticked.

(PS - Where do I send those few err... "Postal Votes" we talked about? There'll need to be HGV parking, Cheers)

Cheers Alty.....the votes are flooding in now, my inbox is full of endorsements....I thought "well, if Trump can become president of the USA, surely I can get voted MOD of MAD?".................MOD of MAD, love it....that's my slogan....bulk voting preferred!

[Trickytreesreds]

....and there was me counting on your vote.

ps....is bribery out of the question?

Do I get a vote?

I'll be the Albanian Immigrant, with a false ID