Sounds to me like you’re lashing out in a frothing frenzy, demented by the idea of your impending relegation being compounded by our (hopefully) imminent promotion, thus returning the true status quo of the City. You’re further byling at the fact that you’ve spectacularly blown what will likely be your ONLY opportunity to try and regain some sort of ascendancy locally following ‘The Biggest Match Of Your Club’s History’ and are struggling to come terms with what has been a monumental clusterphuck of an omnishambles ever since. You’re further realising now that the, frankly, minteresque ‘celebrations’ following that night at Dens are instead in years to come actually going to be used as a stick to beat you’s with as yet another example of why you are called ‘The Funsters’. Finally, the biggest dread of all is that should we get up, we will return to our ways of regular top six finishes, cup semis, finals and even trophy wins which, let’s face it, constitutes your entire life of supporting the Funsters.

Nae wonder you’re seething. Tak’ another drink and chill oot