Predicting cash-hoarding after the capitalist-led disaster of 2008, I sunk my meagre means into a company making socks and mattresses. Fail, apart from the regulars whose socks were a cotton/acrylic condom substitute when practising their solo ***ual pursuits.

Also, expecting popular insurrection over the theft and bail-out, with capitalism being taken up the pish-stinking lanie between Market Street and Adelphi and given the deserved fatal hiding, I put a few spondoolicks into a pitchfork and flaming torches co-operative.

Alas, the lieges just grumbled a bit, blamed the darkies and the weather, had a cup of tea and continued their lives as slaves to corporate greed.

Next time though....