O/T Late Friday neet joke thread...

[Brin]

There is a new modern production 'Wizard Of Oz' In the making.

Dorothy will be played by Dianne Abbot, who hasn't a f00king clue where she is most of the time anyway.

The Tin Man will be played by Boris Johnson who tells Dorothy he doesn't want a f00king heart.

The cowardly Lion will be played by Jeremy Corbyn as he tries to befriend the wicked witch of the West and gives the house that fell on her to her minions.

The Scarecrow will be played by Jo Swinson, who remains true to the part and wishes she had a brain.

The wizard will be played by Donald Trump who pretends to be all their friends, but really doesn't give a f00k and wants to build a wall around Oz to keep the Munchkins out.

Toto was to have been played by Trixie, a cute little Yorkshire terrier, but the Korean chef on the set thought she was lunch.

......you could almost see that being acted out on stage....

[CASPER-64-FRANK]

A bloke walks into a bar and sits alongside a stunning redhead,
He buys her a drink and they start chatting with the usual ***ual innuendo included,
After half an hour he decides to go for it,
He says to the stunning redhead, " I know how to make my Pen15 TEN INCHES "
She smiled seductively and eyes bulging she asked .." how "

The guy replied " give me five minutes and I will go to the loo and chop an inch off "

[Grist_To_The_Mill]

......you could almost see that being acted out on stage....

Well it is the right time of the year for pantomime

(Oh no it isn’t)

[Ronners]

I nearly got knocked off my bike by a council salt wagon last night. "You dozy ****ing ****" I shouted, through gritted teeth.