O/T Joke of the day

[Brin]

Daley Thompson, Tessa Sanderson and Steve Cram are all around at Seb Coe's house for tea.

Steve brought the fish, Tessa brought the chips and Daley brought the mushy peas and Seb provided the salt and vinegar.

Suddenly there was a knock at the door so Seb gets up to answer. 'Who is it?, asks Seb.

'It's Fatima wi t'bread'

[Scum-Triumphant]

I’ve not heard that since I was at school.

Just how far did the clocks go back at the weekend?

[Nardendee]

I have a better one. A simple one liner.

Prince Andrew wants to return to royal duties.

[howdydoo]

I like Freudian slips as much as the next gay

[howdydoo]

THE BATHTUB TEST:

During a visit to my doctors I asked him . . .

"How do you determine whether or not an older person should be put in an old age home?"

"Well" he said, "We fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a tea cup and a bucket to the person and ask them to empty the bathtub"

"Oh, I understand" I said "Because a normal person would use the bucket as it's bigger then the spoon or the teacup"

"No" he said "A normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a bed near the window or the door?"

[Brin]

I’ve not heard that since I was at school.

Just how far did the clocks go back at the weekend?

Owd un's are good un's sometimes.

[Ronners]

I was just washing up, with the back door open, when suddenly, an owl flew in. It dried all the pots and put them away then flew right back out.! Couldn’t believe it! Think it was a Teat Owl….

[Ronners]

I asked my Scottish girlfriend to rate my listening skills.. She said you’re an 8 on a scale of 10…why she wanted me to urinate on a skeleton I'll never know!

[Nardendee]

Talking of old jokes:
Lady teacher asks three kids tomake up a sentence with the word pistol in it.
Clever Karen - cowboys shot each other with pistols. Very good Karen
Brainy Brian - gangsters used to shoot with pistols. Very good Brian.
Snotty Sid - My brother has been circumcised.
Teacher : What has that got to with anything?
Snotty Sid. Well miss - he can’t pistol next week.

[gru]

Weather seasonal in Rotherham but it's -4 at S6