Ah've done a wee bit o' actin' in ma time ... and have willingly dressed up as/portrayed/played .... A minister, A female frog, A crocodile, A 1920s schoolchild, A lamplighter, A dwarf, Ebeneezer Scrooge, An old tradesman, A suit of Armour, A mad surgeon (Dr Seymour Blood), A parkie, A puppeteer, A bear, A supervillian with a sonic syringe (2 decades before Dr Who's screwdriver version), The hunchback of Notredam, An 1830s factory worker/musician, A chain smoking environmentally conscious puffin, A redneck country singer, A diver (complete with the sweaty stink o' daein 2 x 30 minute shows per day, 5 days per week and occasional weekend 2 hour version ... in a fkn wet suit ... gads! ), A big brother enforcer (In 1984 coincidentally ... a kids show!! ).
Add to that, at various events I have appeared as a vampire, a dirty auld mannie, a mad doctor, the grim reaper, a pantomime dame (complete wi wig, bra an draaars), ..
For music performances, I 'played' Shane McGowan in a Pogues trib, Got made up in various ways for some punk gigs, wore elaborate, sparkly costume including bizarre headdresses with one particular band, and have even made the occasional live appearance with nothin on but a sock to hide ma meat n' fkn veg! ....
... but ....
... but! ... even for entertainment, and even in the make believe realm of the stage, even for the worthiest and neediest of charities/causes .... NEVER would I EVER ... regardless o' the fee offered would I EVER wear a fkn hun shirt ... or shorts, socks, hat, badge, scarf, shoes, punts,or fkn fanny pad for that matter! ... EVER!