Well if he is waking up, he's doing it so slowly he makes Bagpuss look like Ussain Bolt.

But, of course, he's not waking up. The facts spaeak for themselves-we were utterly shite under Bruce way before these potentially relegation-confirming injuries and fatso's been able to see these stats as the evidence has piled up throughout Bruce's time here: Bruce's NUFC PL record.

2 wins in 15 games
7 wins in 32
11 wins in 46 games
18 wins in 64

Fatso has been asleep all the way through but we're the ones having nightmares.