Haw Frank...

[cocopops61]

I mentioned on Griffs board how much I loved a good sad song that will make me miserable,late at night with a JD in my hand listening to breakup songs with a year in my eye I'm at my happiest,what's your theory on this,surely a song that's happy and joyous would be the music of pleasure not K Kel's Music To Slit Your Wrists To,Volume One?

[Psaw]

Theres a film i cant remember the name of, it starts with a woman watching old home film of her dead husband, drinking, weeping, and finally falling asleep. Very moving. You have to remember that your mind makes the past better than it was, much better.

Maybe you are still grieving, and comparing the past to what you wrongly consider a worse today. The past has gone, the future is a blank page, write on it, but good things. I am a 2am to bed person, usually playing poker, watching films, or watching u tube, with my mate jack daniels. Having been trite about grief, it never really goes away, whether its a person, animal, place or time, it just is.

All ends to start again, better. Your next good time will end to. Its just how things are.

[cocopops61]

I don't think that I'm still grieving as I've moved on from past loves but I honestly love nothing more than listening to break up songs and feeling their pain,I dunno maybe it's the same kind of thing as women bawling their eyes out to a weepie then going back to watch it again the following night
If a song can reach into my heart,wrench it out and gob on it as it kicks it into the gutter then I'm never happier and will go on and look for worst/better

[Psaw]

Crikey. Its not something i do. Having said that, i wouldnt change the past no matter how bad it was. There is a human thing that states that the less available something is the more you want it, which heightens the pleasure when you get it.

When you get what you want, with no restrictions, things tend to begin to change, not for the better, taking things for granted comes in. Films songs poems, plays etc do remind me of the past in a warm fuzzy way, its what will sustain me in old age. If you have a copy of Cannery Row, there is a poem in two parts towards the end, that sums it up for me.

The lead character, Doc, was modelled on a real person as they all are. He loved a woman in real life who didnt want to know, and the most she would do is scribble notes to him in an ineducated way, which he kept as treasure.

It was worse for me, my unreachable goddess was in reach occasionally for eigh**** months, before she became unreachable. I always knew it would happen, but did it anyway. Taking for granted never came into it, and because she was verboten, every second was heaven, and it was unbelievable wonderful. Who was your unreachable goddess?

Another life long love, Cambridge United, i have learnt is as empty and vacuous as it comes, three faced, criminal and manipulative, i am glad to be rid of it.

[cocopops61]

Why do we always crave something then as soon as it's available you don't bother?
I knew somebody at work who would chase a girl for months and put a lot of time and energy into getting her then as soon as he gets a date he loses interest practically straight away,I think that he was a bit of a wrong un though as he always said that the best *** for him was with somebody else's wife or girlfriend,he got quite a kick out of that but I would be racked with guilt if I did it

[Psaw]

It will be ego, as well as validation that he is attractive. I used to be like that, if i had a spitfire, i would have decorated the fuselage with photos of my conquests, i kept count. Much to my shame. Maturity always comes to late, i must have caused a lot of pain, and im sure i will pay for it in the next life.

There were some lovely girls in there, nice people too. I had some sort of madness. I grew out of it about 28 ish. Living a life like that is overtly empty.
Most men want to settle down in there early 30s, get broody even, then make another mistake with the wrong partner.

[cocopops61]

Every woman that I have loved has hurt me either physically,emotionally or both,all love is is chemicals in the brain overloading common sense,you would think that evolution would eradicated the need for by now and just see females as a way to reproduce like some animals,even the most hardened thug can fall in love

[Psaw]

Learning to love yourself is not something that comes easily, especially in a bloke, that internal critic smacks in most of the time. Its something i started about seven or eight years ago. In times of trouble, what would a true friend say? It wont be punishing or blaming, but to understand. Put yourself first. Moving on from a problem can be almost instant.