Putting yourself first is you telling yourself you matter. If you dont, you become stressed, anxious, and burnt out. Your health depends on it. The healthier you are, the happier, you will be more effective in all areas.
You matter, just like everyone else, why treat yourself badly, or less well?

That priest or vicar is you, you are grasping the possibilities of what you could do if you allowed it. What would it be? Ive been a carer for a long time, and i feel as if im in a cage. Come the time, if it ever comes, im going on a rampage, lock up your daughters, or grannies in my case.
Im going to spend money till im broke, chasing the sun, Italy Spain America, im not dying with the bank brimming in filthy lucre.

I know you are going to lecture me now, you have a puritanical streak. Throw it aside, learn poker, and lose, book a massage, ( wink), watch Forest, marry an 18 year Ukranian girl, i see a lot of ugly disabled men married to drop dead beauties.
Theres nothing wrong with drinking deeply at the well of life.

Time is running out. Have fun. Now.