Which reminds me, when the Old Rangers were handing out EBT's like confetti (aye you McCann) they'd signed a player from England and he was due to make his debut away at St Johnston.

Night before the game he tells the manager he'll drive himself to the match. 1.30pm the next day no sign of said player so one of the Hun staff calls the player. Player says "Sorry about this but I think I'm lost"
Where are you then?
"In Johnstone but they say St Johnstone don't play here"
Johnstone in Renfrewshire?
"I think so"

Boss, we need to change the team sheet.