I had a neighbour once - called Jack Ross. My most vivid memory of him was walking behind him on the way hame fae Kittybrewster primary school while he was walkin' hame, presumably fae the mart, wi a huge dead turkey slung over his shoulder, holding it by the legs ... it's head and neck swinging behind him.

Now, Ah canna think o' the Joot boss without drawin' some glarin' comparisons