Maybe good auld Tel, is still bellyaching about certain bedsheets. You know, Dave, the ones laughing at the once proud Geordie nation’s downfall.

That was of course when there was still a proud Geordie nation. Before it became annexed by the sovereign state of Saudi Arabia. The football team of a foreign nation, plying its sordid sports washing trade in the English Premier League.

There will forever be a question mark against any success that you buy. All those years of failure ended with hollow victories and suspicion.

We’ll be fine ta, Terry, Karma is for flakey dreamers to believe in. Not sure that you’ll be allowed to believe in Karma anymore though, what with you being a subject of a unitary absolute monarchy.

Remember when Newcastle Upon Tyne had its own football team? I do, a very proud football club they were, before the annexation, of course.