Supposed friends?

[mickd1961]

I wonder how you lot evaluate what qualifies someone as a “friend” to you personally?

Over the past couple of years, during personally dark times I started looking through my phone at my supposed friends, I’m talking about people going back as far as nearly 50 years of my life.

I was quite surprised to see how with a few people, it was always me sending the first text, if I didn’t text them then they never texted me.

Two of these people had been particularly close friends and confidants down the years, one in particular I’d done a lot to help in his t e e n s and 20’s and I’d got him a good job at one of my previous companies......a job that changed his life completely and lead him to eventually own his own company in the field I lead him into.

So I just stopped messaging them and surprise, surprise.........I still got no messages for a long time.

Eventually one texted me after two years so I deafed him.

On here I have a different type of friend, many of whom I value.

Des, Prando, Kets, DaveP latterly, BaggieAl who I enjoy meeting up with be it at a game or in Harrogate and he always keeps in touch.

A special mention to Boingy as well, due to him and some advice he gave me my life has been such a lot better in 2022 and so a special mention to you thanks Jason.

Not “mates” in a conventional sense but all important to me along with so many others on this forum.

Thank you all of you.

Merry Xmas from me.

[Dubbag]

I wonder how you lot evaluate what qualifies someone as a “friend” to you personally?

Over the past couple of years, during personally dark times I started looking through my phone at my supposed friends, I’m talking about people going back as far as nearly 50 years of my life.

I was quite surprised to see how with a few people, it was always me sending the first text, if I didn’t text them then they never texted me.

Two of these people had been particularly close friends and confidants down the years, one in particular I’d done a lot to help in his t e e n s and 20’s and I’d got him a good job at one of my previous companies......a job that changed his life completely and lead him to eventually own his own company in the field I lead him into.

So I just stopped messaging them and surprise, surprise.........I still got no messages for a long time.

Eventually one texted me after two years so I deafed him.

On here I have a different type of friend, many of whom I value.

Des, Prando, Kets, DaveP latterly, BaggieAl who I enjoy meeting up with be it at a game or in Harrogate and he always keeps in touch.

A special mention to Boingy as well, due to him and some advice he gave me my life has been such a lot better in 2022 and so a special mention to you thanks Jason.

Not “mates” in a conventional sense but all important to me along with so many others on this forum.

Thank you all of you.

Merry Xmas from me.

Nice post...and seasons greetings to you from Dublin...Have a peaceful Christmas and a better 2023....

[boingy]

Thanks for the mention Mick. Texts are interesting, I’ve had many a discussions on the very thing you mentioned. I often initiate and don’t get a reply text and if I wait for others to initiate it doesn’t happen. I can see that often with people who have a strong supportive family it doesn’t matter whether anyone responds or not, because they feel accepted anyway in their family support network. For those of us who don’t have that, it has a deeper effect when someone doesn’t respond. It underlines that there’s no one out there for us.

[kettering_baggie]

Good one, Mick, I hope you have a happy Christmas and a healthy New Year.

I have friends that go back a long way, back to schooldays in some cases and we stay in touch and meet from time to time. Sadly, we are now four short, so that makes you realise that you should make the most of friendships while you can. I think that years ago people tended to stay in, or close to, the areas where they grew up, so staying in touch was much easier. I think it was the early 80’s when unemployment rocketed that people moved away for new jobs, it broke up families and groups of friends. That was when I had to move from my home, in Kidderminster at the time, to a new job and career in Derby, ultimately ending up in Kettering. I’ve been here for nearly 33 years now but still consider Halesowen and the area out to Kidderminster as ‘Home’. I love going back there and even luckier to still have good friends from back then.

[phild]

Nice one Mick hopefully we can meet up at the next Vine bash and Merry xmas to you also.

[mickd1961]

Thanks for the mention Mick. Texts are interesting, I’ve had many a discussions on the very thing you mentioned. I often initiate and don’t get a reply text and if I wait for others to initiate it doesn’t happen. I can see that often with people who have a strong supportive family it doesn’t matter whether anyone responds or not, because they feel accepted anyway in their family support network. For those of us who don’t have that, it has a deeper effect when someone doesn’t respond. It underlines that there’s no one out there for us.

Very well put Boingy.

Two of these so called “friends” have really peed me off though.

Not only did I help him into a fantastic career but it was me who supported him and his young girlfriend and paid for a termination for them when they were t e e n a g e r s and in a whole lot of trouble.

I was only 20 myself and not at all well off but I scraped a months wages together and gave it to them so they could get it done secretly.

40 years later they are still together but have now completely forgotten me unless I got in touch with them!

To make it worse, since I moved out to where I live now he drives past my driveway every morning and evening as his business is close to where I live.

Five years and not one pop in FFS!

So f u c k him and her,

My other mate just turned out to be the shallow narcissistic person I always suspected him to be but because he was such a laugh I let it pass.

Then he started denying stories that he himself had told me about his private life years ago so I decided that on top of not texting first at any time that his lying was good enough reason to call it a day with him.

I’d rather a few forum mates turned up at my funeral than the sort of t w a t s above.

Some people will get a surprise when I die....I’ve started to compile a list of people I don’t want to attend my send off, some of who are family members.

If they turn up they’ll be politely told I didn’t want them there.

At least I’ll get last laugh on some absolute tools!

[kettering_baggie]

Nice one Mick hopefully we can meet up at the next Vine bash and Merry xmas to you also.

Yes, another get together in the Vine sometime soon would be good. I hope to get to a match in January.

[DaveP67 is back!]

Happy Christmas Mick, and all the other old gits on here, hope you all have a good one, we have a great little community on here and I certainly have made some good friends.

[Prando]

A happy, healthy and peaceful Christmas to you and all your family buddy.

[baggieal]

I wonder how you lot evaluate what qualifies someone as a “friend” to you personally?

Over the past couple of years, during personally dark times I started looking through my phone at my supposed friends, I’m talking about people going back as far as nearly 50 years of my life.

I was quite surprised to see how with a few people, it was always me sending the first text, if I didn’t text them then they never texted me.

Two of these people had been particularly close friends and confidants down the years, one in particular I’d done a lot to help in his t e e n s and 20’s and I’d got him a good job at one of my previous companies......a job that changed his life completely and lead him to eventually own his own company in the field I lead him into.

So I just stopped messaging them and surprise, surprise.........I still got no messages for a long time.

Eventually one texted me after two years so I deafed him.

On here I have a different type of friend, many of whom I value.

Des, Prando, Kets, DaveP latterly, BaggieAl who I enjoy meeting up with be it at a game or in Harrogate and he always keeps in touch.

A special mention to Boingy as well, due to him and some advice he gave me my life has been such a lot better in 2022 and so a special mention to you thanks Jason.

Not “mates” in a conventional sense but all important to me along with so many others on this forum.

Thank you all of you.

Merry Xmas from me.

Couldn’t agree more! Mick has got me through some very dark days when I didn’t know whether I wanted to be alive or dead. Even now on a family holiday there’s been a big bust up when I have not caused it but hey - it’s all my fault and amazing how people side with others and gang up.

A man’s true best friend is a dog. More genuine people on this board then some you feel close to you.

Thing I hate about some family members is when they don’t put their hands in their pockets even though they have money or choose to sit on their a rse and not work.

Happy Christmas