Keir Starmer

[donsdaft]

I saw a stat that said the highest percentage of homo***uality within jobs was amongst opticians.

It was in the Daily Express so it must be true.

It also claimed a cabal of optometrists murdered Princess Di and were responsible for house prices falling.

I chose to believe that's true.

I'm not, and never was, an optician.
I'm sure I have explained this about 5000 times.

However, it it meant I got a go at murdering Princess Di, then I might have tried to join their happy band.