BT: ''I have long suspected God is actually a woman.'' Oh no! BT we can not have the writers of the Bible or scriptures were not having that , for then woman would be superior to man!! They understood to make God in a male form.( for a man must be superior to a woman!! )
Genesis Chapter 2
''7. Then the LORD God formed man of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living soul.''
You see man had to be superior to a woman.
Otherwise it would be ( nag - nag nag, do this ,do that etc !) Which does not happen today, thanks to those ancients Israelites!!