Site Moderation Discussion

[KerrAvon]

A couple of points:

Firstly, this is your forum. Much like any self-contained ecosystem (whether a pub, home, knitting group), it can function however the majority decide, with an ongoing respect for any overarching owner/laws, etc. I don't believe Roly is concerned with arguments getting heated and how to deal with that, just moderating what he (and some others) believe to be crossing a line where a demographic is getting insulted.

Secondly, 'woke' is just a way to describe an awareness of prejudice. It's (oddly) become both a pejorative term for people seen as overly sensitive to anything, and a compliment to those who consider social awareness and progressive thinking as positive.

Whilst Kerr has a point that some lines of discussion, terms, etc are going to split a room, others are pretty straightforward. Anyone still pretending that the 'p word' is acceptable isn't being wholly honest (unfathomable that there's still a post with that in there, despite what appeared to be a genuine apology for the person who wrote it). You get the forum you want in the end, and if more members (or those with a sheriff badge) are comfortable with racial slurs, misogyny and homophobic insults, others will have to deal with being around that sort of thing, or leave. If it suits more to go the other way, then as I said previously, members have autonomy over how things are run.

I was posting from my phone yesterday and so abbreviated my thoughts. I agree that there are some issues upon which the position is straightforward. Whether they agree with it or not, I think that most people would now know that the P or N words, for example, are wholly unacceptable on a public forum. On that, I note what Frog says about the banning of someone who chose to cross that line. I would suggest that no reasonable person would use such language other than to offend, provoke and insult.

An issue, however, is that what is acceptable to the reasonable person changes over time creating large grey areas.

I like to think that I am a liberal minded person (a certain poster has been known to liken me to Lord Longford as opposed to discussing issues upon which we hold differing views) who believes that any form of prejudice has no place in a civil society. That being said, I have found myself terribly embarrassed and full of regret when I have looked back at diaries that I maintained in my ****s and twenties (a long time ago) in which I used language and expressed some views that I now know to be wholly wrong and unacceptable. Was I a ‘bad’ person then? I was certainly ignorant and unthinking to think and write such things, but I cut myself a bit of slack by acknowledging that I was caught up in the language and attitude of that time.

With the above in mind, I think we should all cut each other at least some slack (not least because we might be using language and holding views that we will know to be wrong in 20 years-time - it becomes statistically unlikely that I will be thinking anything at all much beyond that time frame).

The above gets me to cup-cakes. I can’t recall seeing it being used on here and so don’t know the context, but until you mentioned it, I don’t think I would have immediately seen it as homophobic. Now you have mentioned it, I can see the argument, but much would turn upon the intention of the person using it.

As I have said, I don’t know the context in which cup-cake was used, but if it was not obviously being used as a term of endearment, the question surely has to be why it was used at all. At best, it is patronising and provocative.

Perhaps the site should operate to the ‘tap-room’ test. Would you call a complete stranger ‘cup-cake’ in a pub? I wouldn’t.