Groundkeeper Willie, as featured in today’s Herald (On Sunday, for you tautologist weirdoes).
“Hot-headed school jannie is a cartoon of a ScotsmanThe Herald on Sunday
28 Jul 2024
RED hair? Check. Irascible? Check. Propensity to sort things out with a punch to the heid? Check. Could this week’s Icon possibly be Scottish? Well, featuring in The Simpsons cartoon series, he’s said to be the person most Americans associate with Scotland, ahead of Sir Sean Connery, Ewan McGregor and Rabbie Burns. Fan websites across the pond describe him as “a stereotypical angry Scotsman”. Oooh, that sort of thing drives Scotsmen mad.
Willie Sean Moran MacDougal, groundskeeper and janitor at Springfield Elementary School, is immensely proud of his origins in Scotland. But which Scotland?
His accent is impossible to place. Possibly, he hails from the same locale as Scotty from Star Trek, who was a Linlithgow-born Aberdonian.
One US website says Willie’s accent sounds like “complete gibberish”, noting an implication in the series that it was the result of brain damage after hitting himself on the head with a hammer to get to sleep.
During the series, Willie claimed to be from various parts of Scotland. He was a supporter of Aberdeen FC, but had also lived in Glasgow. In 2009, Glasgow City Council added him to its Famous Glaswegians webpage, causing Aberdeen FC to protest.
However, in season 23, it was finally stated that Willie is from Kirkwall in Orkney. Not only that, but his father was an Uppie and his mother a Doonie in the island capital’s famous Ba’ Game. It was a union that “tore his family apart”.
Rob Lazebnik, one of the show’s writers, revealed: “We liked the idea of him for once saying: ‘I’m not from one of these big cities.’
“So we went online and spent a lot of time looking at lists of towns and cities, and we frankly loved the name ‘Kirkwall in Orkney’.”
On hearing this news, Orkney MSP Liam McArthur wrote to the leader of Glasgow City Council, requesting it renounce its claim.
Willie first appeared in a season two episode in 1991. Originally, the character was supposed to be just an angry janitor.
Desperate Dan
DAN Castellaneta, who voices several other characters including Homer Simpson, was told to use an accent. First, he tried Spanish but that was thought clichéd. A “big dumb Swede” was also rejected.
Then along came … angry Scotsman. Series creator Matt Groening: “We wanted to create a school janitor that was filled with rage, sort of our tribute to angry janitors all over the world.”
In the episode My Fair Laddy, Willie revealed a troubled relationship with his parents, recalling how his abusive father told him he’d never amount to anything and that he’d be lucky if he grew up to be “garbage”. A typical Scottish upbringing then.
Willie once told Principal Skinner he’d seen his own father hanged for stealing a pig, and it’s possible that he himself had a murderous past as he’s supposedly the spitting image of the Aberdeen Strangler, something he doesn’t deny. He just whistles insouciantly.
The series implies that Willie has killed a student at least twice. When a ball was shredded underneath his tractor, he screamed in horror that he’d run over a child again. He also claims to be haunted by a dead student, whose ghost appears with a rake through its chest.
Willie himself frequently gets killed in the Treehouse of Horror episodes: axe in the back, accidentally burned to death, attack by dolphin.
In early episodes, Willie’s father was said to be dead. However, later (The Simpsons gleefully eschews continuity) his parents were said to be living near Loch Ness. In The Girl Who Slept Too Little, we learn he has a cousin, Gravedigger Billy.
In Simpsons Comics, it’s implied his last name is MacMoran.
However, in My Fair Laddy, he claims not to have a last name while, in another episode, he gives the moniker Dr William MacDougal to a customs official at Ellis Island.
Indy’s last crusade
IN 2014, standing before a Saltire, Willie featured in a video backing independence in that year’s referendum. A tattoo on his chest proclaimed: “Aye or Die!” Following the result, the producers released an image of Willie standing in front of a Union flag, looking depressed with his “Aye or Die!” tattoo replaced by a picture of the Queen.
Philosophically, he has noted:
“Brothers and sisters are natural enemies, like Englishmen and Scots! Or Welshmen and Scots! Or Japanese and Scots! Or Scots and other Scots! Damn Scots! They ruined Scotland!”
But it’s not just the Scots he (at times) despises. In the States, his description of the French as “cheese-eating surrender monkeys” became widely used in the run-up to the war in Iraq.
Willie also occasionally exhibits a sociopathic hatred of Springfield. Running for civic office there, he declared: “If elected mayor, my first act will be to kill the lot of ya, and burn yer town to cinders!”
Aw, is there no love in his life? Well, he was once engaged to Shary Bobbins, until she recovered her eyesight.
That lassie didn’t know what she was missing as, underneath his dungarees, Willie has the musculature of a god, one that uses Propecia, a drug for male pattern baldness, to keep its chest hairy.
Apparently, he is infatuated with Sarah Ferguson, Duchess of York. While hallucinating on a Peyote-laced drink, he sees her presence near a tree, beckoning him.
In Dark Knight Court, Willie describes himself as a “Scottish Old Believer
Presbyterian” who hates Easter. Unusually for a Scotsman, he enjoys a wee swallie.
Drunk on the pool
AT work, he swerves his tractor drunkenly, ploughing through everything in his way and, on one occasion, crashing into the pool. He claims to “get so drunk I can barely see, but it helps me get through another day”, much of which involves cleaning up pupils’ puke.
In one episode, it’s implied he only keeps his job because Principal Skinner pays him next to nothing but, in another, Skinner claims Willie is paid more than him.
Willie once discovered an oil well by accident while burying the school hamster. With the school newly wealthy, he requested a crystal pail. Alas, nuclear plant boss Mr Burns stole the oil. Poor Willie. He doesn’t have much luck. He lives in a dilapidated shack behind the school, a home to which he is emotionally attached and that Bart has caused to be destroyed twice.
Still, he has his hobbies: collecting stamps and old vinyl; filming couples in cars. Just like any normal Scotsman.”
Touché!
Point still stands. Came into politics to eradicate child poverty and failed at the first chance of a meaningful change.
With the expected announcement tomorrow that our economy is screwed (which should be a shock to nobody). I expect more pain for the poor over the coming years.
That’ll be the shared and dominant creed of neo-liberalism then, in which that screaming skull grandstanding Sturgeon-lite jute cùnt Flynn’s as guilty as any of them. I’m sure Michael Fabricant’s haircut’s for sale now that he’s been deposed from his rotten borough of Cruelty-On-Steroids. Just put it on expenses you jute w@nker.
Other than those stated above, I have no strong feelings on the matter.
E&OE.
Finished the book. (Thanks to Aberdeen City Library Services)
Didn't learn anything new from it, bar a couple of things, but it should really get people angry if they chose to read it.
He can f*ck right off with his chapter on Jeremy Corbyn though. He might not be an Old Etonian statesman but at least he would have gave a sh*t about people, same with Ed Milliband.
As Mason said, O'Brien and people of his ilk brought about the tory years, especially those of Johnson, Truss and Sunak.
It has happened in a foreign land, England! Sadly it has had huge impacts on what happens up here, Wales and Norn Iron too.
What the book highlights is how much influence the media, lobby groups, mega rich individuals looking for political influence for their own gains and these so called political think tanks have over Governments and I doubt that will shift much in the coming years. I read Private Eye every fortnight and it makes for a depressing read in parts. It's not what happened or what is happening is not reported, it's just that the main media outlets aren't doing their job in reporting it.
The one that always gets me is how Gordon Brown managed to piece the economy back together after the financial crisis of 2007/08 and how the tories managed to spin it and still do, as the fault of the Public services and went all out on austerity which we are still paying the price for.
I am possibly contributing to the next global downturn just by reading books from big bad public libraries.
We just have to hope that Labour can at least return a degree of normality to our politics in the coming years, but for me, nothing will ever change for us up here on in Wales or Norn Iron until we get to f*ck away from Westminster.
The late Alistair Darling’s book “Back From The Brink” is as good an account of the capitalist financial scandal as I’ve read.
Interesting and informative though it be, the bail-out for the ****ińg thieves who caused it and walked away unscathed with bulging pooches and are back at it was still the best open goal chance in my long lifetime to drag capitalism up a pish-stinking alleyway and administer the fatal kicking it deserved.
This forum is becoming odder every day.