Health issues etc.

[boingy]

Thanks for your posts on this..I?m guilty of suffering from poor mental health for many years mainly after serving lots of years in the armed forces.At one time I have had suicidal ideation and much varied treatments.its hard to explain but something can trigger me then I?m off on a battle of trying to stay with it all..I?m a big strong looking fairly fit man for my age but I just wish my mind was..hope you all understand me..thanks everyone.

I understand only too well. I have CPTSD which for me was being in a war zone as a child from the womb to the age of 3 when the courts took me off my mother. It has been discovered that a lot of Vietnam war vets actually had CPTSD and joined the forces to get away from home only to then get PTSD on duty. It has been found since neuro imaging technology that children who have suffered abuse at home have the same parts of the brain light up as a soldier in combat. The same effects from being overwhelmed. CPTSD which is a complex form of PTSD is complex because the abuse doesn’t come from an enemy, it comes from who was supposed to be primary caregivers, so effectively should have been on the same side. A friend and not a foe. This has complicated dynamics and huge trust issues. In the brilliant book “The body keeps the score” by Bessel van der kolk he noticed how wartime Vets came alive when they talked to those who served with them. Other than that when they came for therapy they often shut down. War time like childhood trauma puts people constantly on “high alert” so you often only feel “alive” in dangerous situations. These are normal reactions to abnormal traumatic situations. This is my life now. Trying to understand this stuff. The psychological effects from trauma can be all encompassing and leave you feeling very isolated, and misunderstood. Many soldiers when they return from active duty feel lost. Many child abuse survivors feel the same. I would recommend reading The body keeps the score if you haven’t already but it’s recommended that you have a qualified therapist available just in case it triggers you. Me personally, I cried through most of it because for the first time ever I felt understood. Bessel is a psychiatrist who 100% cares for and understands trauma survivors. All the best with caring for your health, be kind to yourself and if you feel lousy allow yourself the time and space to feel lousy. You’ve effectively emotionally speaking been hit at speed by a ten tonne truck.