Kaput saturday, fin, nudder, failures, losers, cheap nobodies, footballing Lidle, comedic, a production starring Tllulah Bankhead, and Norman Wisdom, or Norman Loft, to sit through a game is like watching a film of Auschwitz, a footballing one, much shouting, and footballing death.

With laughter at the back of the terraces, the visting ones, the home fans just look pale.

If Digby ever makes a sliding tackle im sure his suspenders would show like chalkys, a bore is starred, a face unclouded by thought, cackling, mistuned, the gibberings of an anxious baboon.

Back to United, farewell as sholes.