Theres several disadvantages to a Cambridge game, one is that it kicks off, i will certainly think on that one. Another is whether to have half time, and no game, or a game without half time.

Having just half time 46 times a year means not needing playing staff. What to do in fifteen minutes though? Maybe, like at primary school erect a screen and play cartoons of Yosemite Sam wearing a United shirt.

We could all relax after that, instead of watching Ball etc, part the oppositions legs after their manager finding green backs in the dressing room.

What other explanation can there be? Knight a striker, surely a joke is being played, or money changing hands.

There is something wrong with the football apparatus of every United player, winning is impossible, even against Harrogate, which they lost. Indeed, many hours can be spent running, most United players unable to make any sort of contact with the ball.

Swishing wildly is the best that can be achieved. Has Knight a short leg?

Does Watts have a lower eye? Has Lavery had butt reduction operations, not operation but many, the surgeon cursing under his breath about how hard it is to suck it all out.

I wonder if Laverys hips are just too wide.

Oh the miserable quackery of football, is that entertainment?, no, it aint christians being eaten in the Colloseum, or the puns of Aristophanes, even those are better than Appere.

Reading the classics again, watching a milkman doing his rounds in 1965 is better than the Abbey, this monument to death, destruction, and of course, the thing worse than that Grimsby.

In heaven now for a while winds howl, the air grows dark.