Why du thu allus ev people drinking malt lookin dishevelled wi heyf the shirt art stumblin abart? That whisky glass design looked dangerous to me wi that rarnd base. Vicci's got three lads rarnd her nar, well two and the transgender wun. Shill gerra shock if shiz fumbling darn his trarsers and thuz nowt to hold on to. I 'ope Mandy's back longer than Kate wo. Cud do wi a bitta rough in the village cos all the lasses are bonny and in a small village that must be a statistical freak.
Look forrad to see Wills and Kate wi 'Arry toneet. Luvvly cuppal, much nicer than Chaz and Cam. Tanya's hair cudda dun wia wesh other neet--a reyt stringy greasey sight. Am freetend enuff wenna clap eyes on her wiart that mess onner eead. Tek care mi owd.