things that p*ss you off

[donsdaft]

We lived at the cottage when the grandson was little.

Other kids said "birdie" he said "peacock"

The cottage was on an old estate, still with peacocks running wild.

Digestives were "peacock biscuits"

[Pacman1903]

"peacock biscuits"

I'm going to use that. I like it

Ill store it in my brain next to "Grandas Pieces" (oatcakes)

[DonUnder]

Ever seen giraffes fighting. Looks daft but its f@cking brutal (cant give a youtube link as its banned here)

I cant hate them as my wee mans first word was giraffe.

I have witnessed it first hand! Close to 50 years ago and a small DonUnder was taken to a wildlife park somewhere in central Scotland. Must have been whinging or particularly good as senior Unders' pocket was opened long enough to buy me a cappie. Watching the (*******) giraffes and one leaned over to try and get my cone , wise to that I pulled my hand away and the cnt swung it's head up in a way JJ would be proud of and 2 ironed me about 10 feet through the air with it's melon.

Didn't drop my cappie but have had an understandable dislike of the *******s since.

Of course I don't hold that against your wee boy just warn him not to trust the long eyelashed leggy cnts.

Ah

[Pacman1903]

I have witnessed it first hand! Close to 50 years ago and a small DonUnder was taken to a wildlife park somewhere in central Scotland. Must have been whinging or particularly good as senior Unders' pocket was opened long enough to buy me a cappie. Watching the (*******) giraffes and one leaned over to try and get my cone , wise to that I pulled my hand away and the cnt swung it's head up in a way JJ would be proud of and 2 ironed me about 10 feet through the air with it's melon.

Didn't drop my cappie but have had an understandable dislike of the *******s since.

Of course I don't hold that against your wee boy just warn him not to trust the long eyelashed leggy cnts.

Ah

Bloody hell. I bet you don't know anyone else that's been GBH'd by a giraffe. I definitely don't The c@nt

[Jackjarvis]

I dinna mind giraffes, they seem innofensive enough beasts.

Dinna like h*ns mind.

I hae a giraffe every nicht I’m oot wae ma mates.....so I like them.....as for h*ns, we both hae affa guid h*n mates, canna tar them a’ with the same brush.

Fight enemies with love, anyway, surely your team will win at home today against old abos.

SF

[DonUnder]

Went to a restaurant in South Africa that actually served giraffe (on the menu i mean) along with many other exotic things that probably taste like chicken. Was tempted to order it rare as some sort of catharsis but decided against it when i saw the clientele.

Think i am over it now and wont hold my experience against the species.

Also in South Africa there is a genus of vulture that has evolved with no neck feathers and a short beak. It's speciality when encountering a corpse is to enter via the rear and get to the choicest parts at the rear end of the digestive tract. Legend has it if they live a particularly non virtuous life they are reincarnated as huns.

Live and let live i suppose.

[mondo_notion]

Things that piss you off......

The essay, questionnaire and daily diary that bar staff have to type in to a till before it let's them get in for my change.

Seriously? What do they have to enter? How hard can it be?

£4.50...boom that's it gees my f*cking change you slow b*stard of a machine.

And breathe.

[Pacman1903]

When due to an incredible string of events it takes you 65 hours to get to work when it usually takes 19

This on top of you doing a 5 weeker to help your back to back out so he can go back to o his brothers wedding, but due to the 65 hours hes going to miss the wedding anyway and your 5 weeker is for no reason

Left first thing Wed morning got to work 2 hours ago

[mondo_notion]

When due to an incredible string of events it takes you 65 hours to get to work when it usually takes 19

This on top of you doing a 5 weeker to help your back to back out so he can go back to o his brothers wedding, but due to the 65 hours hes going to miss the wedding anyway and your 5 weeker is for no reason

Left first thing Wed morning got to work 2 hours ago

Sounds ****. Hope you can soon settle down and watch the best TV program ever made - the sopranos.....

Or gogglebox.

[alonelywriter]

I fcking hate flu.