Dear Doctor, my wife thinks I'm mad

[Lolmorgan]

Dear Doctor,

I show symptoms of listlessness and ennui when England games are on tv. I much prefer watching re-runs of the play-off semis and wonderful Wembley. My wife thinks I'm mad. Is she right?

Your friend

Giddy

I think your good wife’s got you summed up mate.

[rolymiller]

Well might as well start the doctor doctor jokes and not start a new thread:

Doctor, doctor I think I've got a cricket ball stuck up my arse.

Howzat?

Don't you bloody start!


Doctor, doctor, people keep ignoring me!

Next please.


Doctor, doctor I keep thinking I'm a snooker ball!

Get to the end of the cue!



Doctor, doctor I keep thinking I'm a pair of curtains!

Pull yerself together man!




Doctor, doctor I keep thinking I'm a tennis ball!

I'll serve you next.


Doctor, doctor I think I've overdosed on nitrous oxide!

That's no laughing matter.




That should get you going a bit...


(You can always tell when there are no signings yet eh? )

[caytonmiller]

(You can always tell when there are no signings yet eh? )

Haha. Premature ejaculation jokes next?

[rolymiller]

No smutty stuff from me young Cayton!

Anyway, there's a bit o transfer speculation coming in now so don't need the jokes (?) now! So more like premature signings...

[CAMiller]

Doctor, doctor I keep thinking I'm a doctor.

Take your pants off your head I can't understand a word you are saying.

[Silly-miller]

Doctor doctor I’m addicted to Costa milkshakes

[caytonmiller]

No smutty stuff from me young Cayton!

Anyway, there's a bit o transfer speculation coming in now so don't need the jokes (?) now! So more like premature signings...

I guess my joke went straight over Ur head 😁. O well it's all your getting from me today

[rolymiller]

Nice one Camiller
...and very witty Wild Mr Cayton...

Here's a coupleish more till we get some more transfer news:

Doctor, doctor i think I've become invisible
• I'm afriad I can't see you now


Doctor, doctor I've broken my arm in two places
• hmm, I'd advise you not to go back to either of those places then.

Doctor doctor I've a strawberry stuck in my ear!
• Don't worry, I've some cream for that!

[Pattylallacks2]

Doctor, doctor, I've got piles. What do you recommend?
. Don't Pokem

[Grist_To_The_Mill]

Doctor doctor I think women’s football is entertaining
Sounds like mad cow disease.

Doctor doctor I think I’m a pair of curtains
Pull yourself together man.

Doctor doctor my curtains aren’t like the earlier rolymiller joke
Are you blind or from Venice?

Doctor doctor I’ve got PTSD
The solicitor is next door