Live Paul Clement BLOG

[roger_ramjet]

14:30 Paul's finger goes through the paper - doesn't that always happen! Bring back the shiny Bronco.

14:32 Nonetheless he forgets to wash his hands and is berated by Blattea: paper quality has not improved since Clough used to wipe his **** in those self same bogs

[swaledale]

12:38 swaledales baths his feet and promise to speak no evil and continue the blind crusade against tho that have the audacity to do so!

14.00 Rattea produces first coloured chart which conclusively proves that there has been no improvement under Clement since his appointment!

[wristslasher_909]

15:00 Paul attends first DCFC press conference

[wristslasher_909]

15:03 Paul completely blanks Steve Nicholson from the Derby Evening Telegraph, then calls him a **** – whilst wildly swinging his cardigan above his head.

[wristslasher_909]

15:07 Paul announces he is to appoint John Eustace as Rams captain for the 2015/16 season, informing the onlooking journalists the the veteran midfielder has signed a new 5 year contract this morning at Moor Farm. #thenextchapter

[minesahartington]

16.25 Paul finds amateurish but strangely lifelike devil doll of himself chewing gummed to the bottom of his desk. Only clues are a discarded macca doll in the bin in the corner, an odious after smell and a large R , crayoned "Zorro" style on his wall...

[minesahartington]

16.27 Shocked Paul stumbles back, knocking into his wardrobe and uncovering a secret panel beneath. Inside a well worn full size latex rubber " my nige" *** doll, complete with heavily applied lipstick and double orifice. ... Crayoned on the back the very same "zorro" style R...

[roger_ramjet]

14:50 - Paul goes back in time and captures Blattea scribbling the R on his wall

Paul gives the unconscious body of the perpetrator to his sister, Pam St, to do with as she wishes. For the first time ever, the public express sympathy for Blattea

[southernram22]

13.15 rats is finally locked away in a cell with nigel and is seen licking his feet and grovelling. oh hang on that's already a reality

[wristslasher_909]

15:25 Paul introduces faith healer Come on Eileen to the assembled throng. In a somewhat surprising move Natalie Jackson streaks naked across the room and jumps into Colin Gibson's lap.

EDIT: These time hops are freaking me out. It's getting like an episode of Dr Who.