o/t sarcastic, humorous, rude,

[Gainsbro_Miller]

What about the calls (usually from companies with a Bournemouth dial code??) which start with "it is regarding your warranty cover for your TV/fridge/cooker/washing machine/dish washer (or other household appliance)"

I just say I don't own a cooker, fridge, TV or whatever which usually gets rid of them.

Other than that I usually answer and dodgy looking numbers with "Hello Gainsborough Taxis...…" or Gainsborough Skip Hire/Flower Shop/etc and they hang up.

[CAMiller]

Try "I've just popped a Viagra and something's coming up". Works for me, with telemarketers that is, not with Mrs CA

[MagyarMiller]

Similar to one of John2's
An ex of mine, who ended up doing telesales for a while, used to say
Sorry, excuse me there's someone just come to the door.
Put the telephone on top of the telly and let them listen to that for 20 minutes or so

Invariably they'd hung up by that time.

[rolymiller]

Speaking in a broad Yorkshire accent often works because they often ain't got a clue what I'm on about if they are obviously not from round here. Other things I have tried is to pretend I'm deaf which is often a very good gag to use for those ringing about deafness claims because they know you are deaf but can't communicate with you. I do agree that wasting there time is a good idea like they've wasted mine. For those who ring saying do you get unwanted phone callers I say yes like you. Sometimes I can take the piss that much and that long I actually begin to feel sorry for them. It's a bit like a cat playing with a mouse.