AFC limericks

[Don Julio]

This Friday we travelled to Ross
Where Malky, the genius*, is boss
“If players play well
In results it will tell”
So how to account for the loss?

*Feel free to substitute racist/tosser/****er or any other two syllable adjective that fits that you’d prefer

[Don Julio]

The years of limited yields
And failures on most foreign fields
Means the Jutes’ ‘honours’ board
In darkness is stored
As its contents are all Dewar Shields

For younger colleagues unaware of the reference: https://www.stirling-lhs.org/dewar-s...20J.A.%20Dewar.

Nice.

[Don Julio]

Does anyone else mind the night
When Barry was needin’ a ****e?
At half time he ran
Straight off to the can
To keep his keks pristine and white

[mondo_notion]

The years of limited yields
And failures on most foreign fields
Means the Jutes’ ‘honours’ board
In darkness is stored
As its contents are all Dewar Shields

For younger colleagues unaware of the reference: https://www.stirling-lhs.org/dewar-s...20J.A.%20Dewar.

You get top red points!

Does anyone else mind the night
When Barry was needin’ a ****e?
At half time he ran
Straight off to the can
To keep his keks pristine and white

And you get top red points!

Everybody in the audience also gets top red points!

And a brand new electric volkswagen.

[WhenTattieFlooredChas]

There is a debate about a word chippy
Where teuchter’s can soon become nippy
They prefer it to be called a chipper
As they have called them since being a nipper
But the rest of us think they are dippy

You need to work on your syllable count. 7-10 on lines 1,2 and 5, and only 5-7 on lines 3 and 4.

There's a debate about the word chippy
Where teuchters can soon become nippy
They've called it a chipper
Since being a nipper
But the rest of us think they are dippy

That would work a bit better for you......apart from the obvious error in thinking people who say chipper are in the wrong. Southern weirdos.

[Shetland Don]

“You need to work on your syllable count”

Oooff!

[sonofrgmsdad]

You get top red points!



And you get top red points!

Everybody in the audience also gets top red points!

And a brand new electric volkswagen.

😁😁 I think we need a vote to decide who, or who's on the panel, can dish out top red points. 🤣🤣

[57vintage]

���� I think we need a vote to decide who, or who's on the panel, can dish out top red points. ����

We’ve got to happy with mondo owning this. He travels the country in his mobile home, and from recent news coverage, that’s a sign of a great leader. Mondo’s arrangements for parking are his own business, of course.

[mondo_notion]

We’ve got to happy with mondo owning this. He travels the country in his mobile home, and from recent news coverage, that’s a sign of a great leader. Mondo’s arrangements for parking are his own business, of course.

To be honest I don't know what I'd class as a mobile home but certainly not what I live in. I just call it 'the van'. Or the SNP battlebus.

[mondo_notion]

���� I think we need a vote to decide who, or who's on the panel, can dish out top red points. ����

3 top red points revoked. Suspended for 5 weeks.