O/T David Beckham joke.

[TheOtherTerryMac]

That's what you say when you're upset with Pbro's posts Mick. It wasn't as bad as that was it.

Careful Bill don’t you go trying to upset Zobra the Turk he’s got feeling ye knaa.

[TheBigSausage]

Murphy goes to see a ventriloquist act and after 20mins he has heard 10 Irish jokes .
So he stands up and says " hey I'm Irish and have taken offence at the stupid Irish jokes"
The Vent says " I'm sorry for any offence but it's just fun "
Murphy replies " I'm not talking to you I'm talking to the little ****er on your lap"

[Milburn9]

Murphy goes to see a ventriloquist act and after 20mins he has heard 10 Irish jokes .
So he stands up and says " hey I'm Irish and have taken offence at the stupid Irish jokes"
The Vent says " I'm sorry for any offence but it's just fun "
Murphy replies " I'm not talking to you I'm talking to the little ****er on your lap"

😂

[ex_pat_magpie]

I've told this one before on here but for the newbies here it is.

During WW2 there was a non corridor train travelling across France. Four passengers each in a corner seat, a fat old American spinster,
a pretty young English nurse, a handsome French resistance lad and a tall Teutonic German Officer in full dress uniform.

Train goes through a long dark tunnel and the lights fail. There is the sound of a smoochy sloppy kiss then a smack.

Train emmerges from the tunnel and the German officer is nursing a huge black eye and thinks, "That's tough, the Frenchie kisses the English nurse and she thinks it was me"

The American spinster thinks"That's what I like to see, spirit in these young English girls"

The English nurse thinks "That's strange why did the German officer kiss the fat spinster and not me"

The French resistant fighter, chuckling to himself, thinks "That's the cleverest thing I've done in my life. Kissed the back of my hand then punched the German in the eye"

[Cannylad]

Paddy and Mick go to London to donate sperm.

It was a disaster!

Paddy missed the tube and Mick came on the bus!

[pboromag]

Careful Bill don’t you go trying to upset Zobra the Turk he’s got feeling ye knaa.

i wondered how long terry mackem would take to ump on the bus

calling me a turk

so far in the last 9 months ive spent tens of thousands in turkey having mine and my wifes teeth done
the doctor who removed my fingers was turkish (chosen by me )
i have greek turkish relations
i had a house in turkey

but a mackem wouldnt work that out
you crawl back up pats bottom
or at least take a swig of the mouthwash to remove the smell of poo from ring kissing

[pboromag]

phil scofield is leavingt the itv morning show
as he prefers bbc

[pboromag]

i was down the pub on monday playing pool
the new postman who lives a couple of streets away was bragging how he had shagged every women on our road bar 1

i rushed home and told the wife what he had been saying

oh that must be the frigid cow from number 7

[Milburn9]

i was down the pub on monday playing pool
the new postman who lives a couple of streets away was bragging how he had shagged every women on our road bar 1

i rushed home and told the wife what he had been saying

oh that must be the frigid cow from number 7

😂😂

[Milburn9]

I live next door to a 90 year old man who has alzheimers. Every morning at 9 o'clock he knocks at the door and asks if i've seen his wife. Do you know what it's like to try explain to a 90 year old man that his wife has been dead for 2 years. I've thought about moving house, i've thought about just not answering the door. But sometimes it's worth it just to see the smile on his face.