OT Wordle.

[Ronners]

Another early start at the Ronners house hold, and to be fair I usually wake up grumpy in the morning but this morning I decided to let her have a lie in. I was having my usual slice of toast and cup of tea and reading how all the other losers on millersmad were doing in the tournament, all except Adventus anyway, when she came downstairs and said to me " I dont like you in the new glasses" so I said "I'm not wearing any new glasses" to which she replied " No but I am"....t**t.....the only reason I'd ever have a *** change is to see what it's like to be right all the fu****g time.......anyway

Off to the course we went and out came my driver on the tee and I hit a very decent first shot that left me around 90 yards from the green (2y)
I could see I had a number of alternatives so out came my 9 iron and instead of trying one of the words it could have been, I used my normal 2nd word looking for maybe another letter, but big mistake as I completely sliced my 2nd shot into the dense rough and still around 60 yards from the green (2y)
Out came the wedge, and a decent shot out of the rough and onto the green, that left me a tricky but gettable 6 footer. (2g+1y)
After some serious thought I came up with a word and rolled it into the hole for a nice parp 4, and now I'm going home to defrost the fridge, or foreplay as the mrs calls it (5g)

UTM

[BramleyMiller58]

And a parp 4 to finish

1g,1y
2g
2g,1y
5g

[ragingpup]

Following a hearty Sunday cooked breakfast of toast and Leffe me and the lads ran into the town to embark on the weekly game of “Nudey Judey”. This is where we find any random woman and proceed to viciously rip all her clothes off. We then hold the clothes up over the hysterical female and ask “Is you’re name Jude?”, and if it is, give her her clothes back. We haven’t found a Judey yet, but we’ll keep trying. I love our gang. So funny.

I’m told that this is the last day of the compo, and for the last time I venture to the Clubby. Ronners is laying pulped outside having channeled his inner Les Dawson act sadly within earshot of his Missus who with lethal force pulverised him with the club lawn mower. Poor Ronners, at least he got in his final round. I see his lovely wife over in the nearby field taking down the poor cattle, one by one as they sadly try and fail to clear the fence. Carnage.

Inside the Clubby, Bramley is boring the f*ck out of everyone about the glory days of the Master Brewer, before Howard Road became gentrified by people who could speak. Nice bloke Bramley, but a little bit Ganglord for my liking. Cam is running another Pop Quiz, the 43rd of the day despite everyone telling him to stop for the love of God. That’s the thing with Cam, he just can’t read the nuance of human interactions, like when people are hurling glasses at him and sticking his microphone up his @rse.

Back onto the crease, hair combed slick and in my finest pants. I slam the ball with Fat Bat and it flies majestically through the air to land right on the edge of the green thing with flag. But then, it suddenly reversed its trajectory and flew backwards back up the hill coming to rest about 10 foot from where it started. (2y)

“Oh don’t you f*cking start again” I yelled upwards. That’s the thing with the Lordy, he’s funny for a bit but then just takes it too far. I hear his deep echoing sulk of “F*ck you then Pup” together with descending thunderous footsteps as he storms off elsewhere into the Heavens. W*nker.

Time for my Wedge. Cheese and pickle. Nice. And then, got my 54 Iron out and following a ‘Don’t you blo*dy dare’ stare upwards I tw*t the ball as hard as I can muster. Not bad, right down the fair lay just short of where Adventus lay masturbating in the side bunker. No doubt pleased to be in pole position, with only the useless yanks left to play. And let’s face it, they are lucky if they face the right way, let alone provide any kind of score threat. (3y)

“Butt stark eggs, toothy leopard a volvo” screeched Crash from his hedge. I could tell there was some excitement in his voice, and only then I did notice an actual leopard that was just walking up the fairway. I did that ‘keep f*cking still’ thing you see on nature programmes and it stalked past me, before pouncing on poor Adventus who was caught in mid ecstasy to be sadly torn limb from limb by the predatory beast. Nice way to go though. If you have a choice. Well, sort of. He may well wear the Golfle Crown later today, but we’ll have a tough job finding his head to put it on.

Sated, the leopard climbed back into it’s volvo and drove off.

Back to the action. I used my putter (why not? Just why the f*ck not?) to slam the ball daisycutting right onto the green thing with flag, still some three Ray Mountfords from the hole (1g 3y). Still some work to do. Well not really, no one was looking (Crash was too busy laughing hysterically about Adventus), so I picked the ball up with my hand and dropped it in the hole. F*ck it, stupid game anyway. (5g)

Back the Clubby for another end of tourny party and again, all my remaining friends are there, although there are getting less and less with each compo. Cam sits unhappily bound and gagged in the corner with a big ‘L’ written on his forehead. The Ghost of Kerr walks aimlessly into various walls casting injunctions into the netherworld. Fire dispenses the beers and conspiracies to all concerned and CT hangs angrily upside down on the wall having been chained up there by his guardians. Grist sits still in his corner, generally lamenting change. Normal Jake wonders why he’s here and as all sing one last hearty chorus of ‘Deutschland, Deutschland über alles’, I make my way out of the club, pausing only to light the match and cast it onto the petrol trail…

[CAMiller]

Having a microphone up my @rse has obviously corrected my swing for a nice birdie to finish with and with enough time left to start putting together the 44th pop quiz

1y+1g
2y+1g
5g

[CTMilller]

Well I would not want to be married to Mrs Ronners and would certainly find life inside Raging’s Hieronymus Bosch world too much of a challenge….

Us two Yanks have trailed badly in this contest but we’ve both finished on a more positive note. Let’s hope the football is better when it starts…

2g
2g 1y
5g

[Edinburghmiller]

Hate playing in bad weather and today was no exception. Poor tee shot 1y. Better 2nd almost got on to green 1g1y. Chipped on 2g1y. Then overcooked putt way past hole 2g1y. Lipped out 3G then finally in the hole 5g

1y
1g1y
2g1y
2g1y
3G
5g

A rubbish 6!

[Adventus2012]

Late onto the tee today.

Nice shot off the tee into the middle of the fairway 330 yards 1y 2g. 2nd shot onto the green 2ft from the hole 1y 3g. 3rd shot nice put into the hole 5g. for a lovely birdy.

1y 2g
1y 3g
5g

[Ronners]

Late onto the tee today.

Nice shot off the tee into the middle of the fairway 330 yards 1y 2g. 2nd shot onto the green 2ft from the hole 1y 3g. 3rd shot nice put into the hole 5g. for a lovely birdy.

1y 2g
1y 3g
5g

Jammy fu****g ****....cough cough I mean well done buddy 😉🤣🤣

[CAMiller]

Mirroring the actual event, just like Brian Harman did at Royal Liverpool Adventus2012 (Knocker to his mates) took and early lead, never looked like being caught and is a worthy 6 shot winner of the 2023 MM Claret Jug.

-6 Adventus2012
E ragingpup, Ronners
+4 BramleyMiller56
+6 CAMiller, CTMilller, Edinburghmiller

Next up, MM Wordle ten pin bowling, a 10 day event to determine who is the king of the lanes and who will take possession of The Golden Pin. Watch this space.

[Ronners]

Parp 4 for me today

0
1g+1y
3g
5g

UTM