Boris has a Plan.

[The Bedlington Terrier]

Parliament eh BT, that den of iniquity !! I really can't be arsed to read this drivel but it seems to me he's stating the bleedin obvious, if I was paid £200 a week to do a sh1t job and the government were going to pay me £160 a week to sit on my arse, watch box sets and play Championship Manager, I wouldn't be in any hurry to get back to work either. Just human nature.

With the help of a friend I think we have it sussed...

Hopefully this should clear matters up :-

4 year olds can go to school, but university students who have paid for the tuition they haven’t had and the accommodation they aren’t living in, can’t go to university.

A teacher can go to school with many 4 year olds that they are not related to, but can’t see one 4 year old that they are related to.

You can sit in a park, but not tomorrow or Tuesday but by Wednesday that’ll be fine.

You can meet one person from another household for a chat or to sunbathe, but not two people so if you know two people from another household you have to pick your favourite. Hopefully, you’re also their favourite person from your household or this could be awkward. But possibly you’re not. But as I can’t go closer than 2m to the one you choose anyway you wouldn’t think having the other one sat next to them would matter - unless two people would restrict your eyeline too much and prevent you from being alert.

You can work all day with your colleagues, but you can’t sit in their garden for a chat after work.

You can now do unlimited exercise when quite frankly just doing an hour a day feels like you are some kind of fitness guru. I can think of lots of things that I would like to be unlimited but exercise definitely isn’t one of them.

You can drive to other destinations, although which destinations is unclear.

The buses are still running past your house, but you shouldn’t get on one. We should just let empty buses drive around so bus drivers aren’t doing nothing.

It will soon be time to quarantine people coming into the country by air... but not yet. It’s too soon. And not ever if you’re coming from France because... well, I don’t know why, actually. Because the French version of coronavirus wouldn’t come to the UK maybe.

Our youngest children go back to school first because... they are notoriously good at not touching things they shouldn’t, maintain personal space at all times and never randomly lick you.

We are somewhere in between 3.5 and 4.5 on a five point scale where 5 is all of the virus and 1 is none of the virus but 2,3 and 4 can be anything you’d like it to be really. Some of the virus? A bit of the virus? Just enough virus to see off those over 70s who were told to self isolate but now we’ve realised that they’ve done that a bit too well despite us offloading coronavirus patients into care homes and now we are claiming that was never said in the first place, even though it’s in writing in the stay at home guidance.

The slogan isn’t stay at home any more, so we don’t have to stay at home. Except we do. Unless we can’t. In which case we should go out. But there will be fines if we break the rules. So don’t do that.

And never forget to Stay Alert, which Robert Jenrick has explained actually means Stay home as much as possible. Obviously.

Control the virus. Well, I can’t even control my dogs and I can actually see them. Plus I know a bit about dogs and very little about controlling viruses.

Save lives. Always preferable to not saving lives, I’d say, so I’ll try my best with that one, although hopefully I don’t need telling to do that. I know NHS staff don't like bragging, but saving lives is something they do every day.

So there you are sinkov. If you’re the weirdo wanting unlimited exercise then enjoy. But not until Wednesday. Obviously.

[The Bedlington Terrier]

Parliament eh BT, that den of iniquity !! I really can't be arsed to read this drivel but it seems to me he's stating the bleedin obvious, if I was paid £200 a week to do a sh1t job and the government were going to pay me £160 a week to sit on my arse, watch box sets and play Championship Manager, I wouldn't be in any hurry to get back to work either. Just human nature.

The fu-cking government told them to stay at home sinkov. Sometimes conversing with you is akin to banging my head on a brick wall.

[1959_60]

BT, your post 38 was brilliant and explains the situation in a much clearer way than the government!

If today's "guidance" had been announced by a Labour or Lib Dem bod then our friend from the Ribble Valley would be apoplectic with rage. and I would agree with him.

After Wednesday no one could be criticised for descending en masse on our touristy places - and I'm sure they will. This weekend, when the weather is expected to be good, I reckon it will be very crowded. But I won't be amongst them unless the local authority and the local police tell me it's OK.
But feel free. You can go anywhere you want in England and stay out all day if you wish.

But...if I had been Boris I would have consulted with the regions before dropping this on them.

[The Bedlington Terrier]

59er if Boris ran our local café, this would be the outcome...

Attachment 15776

[barrie_burn]

It's alright for you living in the north of England,pretty simple as explained by BT.However,if you live in Wales we are instructed by the Welsh Assembly (sorry Parliament for Wales aka Senedd Cymru).We will be receiving detailed instructions in two languages,of course.Personally I prefer the Welsh,it makes as much sense to me as the English version.If you have to cross the border for work do you follow the Welsh version or the English,you probably won't be using public transport as your bus pass won't get you anywhere in England.

Round of golf after work at your Club in England? Are you allowed to travel on your own in the car to get there?.Depends on which side of the border you are when the Police stop you.Will be Bar be open in the Club? What is the problem if we keep 2 metres apart.Will I be able to buy some tees and balls in the Club shop?

What does "Alert" mean.Apparently the Welsh translation is "Stay home".

Your wife is a nurse in ICU which means that the children can go to school,but you have to pick them up now that their grandparents aren't allowed to do so.However your boss in Bristol says you have to report for work tomorrow.

Thank God I'm retired.Surely it isn't too difficult to all sing from the same hymn sheet AND be clear on the detail.

[1959_60]

It's alright for you living in the north of England,pretty simple as explained by BT.However,if you live in Wales we are instructed by the Welsh Assembly (sorry Parliament for Wales aka Senedd Cymru).We will be receiving detailed instructions in two languages,of course.Personally I prefer the Welsh,it makes as much sense to me as the English version.If you have to cross the border for work do you follow the Welsh version or the English,you probably won't be using public transport as your bus pass won't get you anywhere in England.

Round of golf after work at your Club in England? Are you allowed to travel on your own in the car to get there?.Depends on which side of the border you are when the Police stop you.Will be Bar be open in the Club? What is the problem if we keep 2 metres apart.Will I be able to buy some tees and balls in the Club shop?

What does "Alert" mean.Apparently the Welsh translation is "Stay home".

Your wife is a nurse in ICU which means that the children can go to school,but you have to pick them up now that their grandparents aren't allowed to do so.However your boss in Bristol says you have to report for work tomorrow.

Thank God I'm retired.Surely it isn't too difficult to all sing from the same hymn sheet AND be clear on the detail.

Aye Barrie. I must say that Ms Sturgeon, Mark Drakeford and even Arlene Foster are knocking spots off Boris for leadership.

We now, in effect, have borders between England and Wales, England and Scotland and England and Northern Ireland. Good luck to the businesses and schools that operate close to these borders and have a workforce or pupils from both sides, or the police etc who must be pulling their hair out wondering how they can enforce things.

And, as I have always thought, some Tories are revolting.

[barrie_burn]

Aye Barrie. I must say that Ms Sturgeon, Mark Drakeford and even Arlene Foster are knocking spots off Boris for leadership.

We now, in effect, have borders between England and Wales, England and Scotland and England and Northern Ireland. Good luck to the businesses and schools that operate close to these borders and have a workforce or pupils from both sides, or the police etc who must be pulling their hair out wondering how they can enforce things.

And, as I have always thought, some Tories are revolting.

Revolting or REVOLTING?

[1959_60]

Revolting or REVOLTING?

Abso-bloody-lutely REVOLTING Barrie.

[sinkov]

"If today's "guidance" had been announced by a Labour or Lib Dem bod then our friend from the Ribble Valley would be apoplectic with rage. and I would agree with him."

More dodgy clairvoyance 59, you really should never try a stage career, none of your attempts have been even close yet. If a Labour or LibDem had made today's announcement my reaction would have been the same, indifference tinged with disappointment that the easing of the lockdown hadn't gone much further.

One aspect of it has surprised me, do you Lefties really find it hard to understand, or are you pretending ? I'm not sure, sometimes I joke about the effects of BDS, and then sometimes I suspect it's all too real and frazzles Lefty brains even more than I suspected. One thing is clear though, you certainly need a Nanny to hold onto don't you ? Go out on your own, use your common sense, stay alert, whoa that's a big step too far for the infants.

[Supersub6]

"If today's "guidance" had been announced by a Labour or Lib Dem bod then our friend from the Ribble Valley would be apoplectic with rage. and I would agree with him."

More dodgy clairvoyance 59, you really should never try a stage career, none of your attempts have been even close yet. If a Labour or LibDem had made today's announcement my reaction would have been the same, indifference tinged with disappointment that the easing of the lockdown hadn't gone much further.

One aspect of it has surprised me, do you Lefties really find it hard to understand, or are you pretending ? I'm not sure, sometimes I joke about the effects of BDS, and then sometimes I suspect it's all too real and frazzles Lefty brains even more than I suspected. One thing is clear though, you certainly need a Nanny to hold onto don't you ? Go out on your own, use your common sense, stay alert, whoa that's a big step too far for the infants.

Your last sentence says it all sinkov. Social media is like bloody Mastermind with everyones' specialist subject being Covoid-19!
With all this knowledge around the virus shoud never have got into the country!
Problem is, as you say, the use of common sense is just an impossibility for a great many of the population who are unable to think for themselves --or so it would appear.