That's the problem with being self taught, it's the reading part that is the most challenging as you need to establish a good eye to brain relationship resulting in rapid communication between them, and self taught people always struggle with the reading part because of that.
Don't be embarrassed about it pal, it's really nothing to be ashamed of it's very common in you self taught people.
Keep taking the lessons or if you have packed them in then re-start them it will do you the world of good.
Oh by the way.
FY2