Kilmarnock v Aberdeen

[TheDeeDon]

Sadly, my doubts re Warnock as interim manager are being justified.

Where Barry Robson was a good choice as interim manager was his knowledge/experience of the players, the team, the club, the opposition and the Scottish game in general. Warnock had next to no such prior knowledge/experience.

We all agreed things had to change, and as much as we wanted Robbo to succeed, few could justify keeping him on any longer .... even if some of us, including myself, had been, up to that point of no return, in favour of giving him more time.

And now, whether we were right or wrong, time is something we no longer have.

It has been said, if you give a monkey an infinite amount of time and a typewriter, it will eventually produce the entire works of Shakespeare in every European language and dialect.

But time is not on our side, yet Warnock seems be be 'monkeying' around ... and still looking for the fkn typewriter (clue Mr W ... it's hiding behind the fkn tombola!)

As Ah said, Robbo at least knew what was at his disposal ... and maybe so did Peter Leven .... he did nae bad in his only game in charge ... compare 1-1 v Celtic with 1-3 and 0-6!! Some might call that 'progress' fk knows, we've seen none since!

We were/are not in a position to have someone come in and re-invent the wheel, when we could have chosen someone who could have fixed a few spokes and pumped up the tyres enough to steady the shi... err ... pushbike.

There's no point in concerning oneself about what you wish you had or don't have ... you have to work with what you have ... and that starts with basic recognition and understanding of what you have ... which, I still think Warnock doesn't.

If indeed "Neil Warnock is honest as they come" he would have the humility to admit his own weaknesses alongside pointing the same out in others.

Warnock's future? .... in my opinion:

If we end up in the bottom 6, he should be sacked.
If we end up in the top six, he should be 'sacked politely' and be moved on in favour of a new manager on a 1 year contract ... giving the new man time to play 5 meaningless games and assess ahead of a summer transfer window.
Or if we end up at least safe from relegation ahead of the split, we sack him sooner giving the new man more than 5 meaningless games to assess ahead of a summer transfer window.

Warnock hasn't been great thus far, but our players are taking the p*ss.

Our biggest issue was sticking by Robson and not getting the new man in to allow him to assess the squad during January and allow him time to get players in.

Warnock is gone come May, unless he walks earlier, which I can see happening at this point.
When he does go, the mess will still exist, it's just the next mug through the door we turn against.

Warnocks managed over 1600 games at a decent level. If he says our players lack fight, it means our players lack fight.
They might not like hearing it, but 100% true.

Those if us who rock up to games can tell you we have been poor all season, it's not just since Warnock came through the door.

[NaeMairNeeps]

Sorry TheDeeDon ... Ah wholeheartedly disagree. re 'players taking the piss' ... This latest game, they looked slow as fúck ... to every second/loose ball ... but it was cos Killie were quicker. The reason? Killie play a 4-4-2 .... and know the system. We played 4-4-2 for the second time since me my fkn kids were still kids ... first time was just two three weeks ago ... and it got changed cos we were sh!te at it.

Ye know, it doesna sound like a big deal askin a player tae play a different role/position ... it's jist fitba ffs .. but hey, Ah dinna ken fit ye dae for a livin, but ... Ah used tae dae social care ... and Ah canna imagine goin intae work and sayin ... 'hey ... Ah ken yer here as a voluntary befriender, but, hows about you writin up the petty cash, while Ah tak Sandy oot tae Stoney in the car? hey ... ye canna dae accounts, an Ah dinna hae a drivin licence, but **** it ... we're aa on the same team, aye?'

Nooadays? Ah mak ma livin playin in a ceilidh band .... and occasionally wi ma punk band ....

"Hey Charlie min ... Ah've left ma bouzouki at hame ... and Ah've dragged ma auld electric guitar along ... fit aboot you play the guitar an' Ah hae a funny shotty wi yer accordian?"

Aye, extremes, Ah ken .... but in fitba? Fine margins. Ye can hae the worlds best winger ... but, well .. let's say ... ye can tak the man oot o' the wing, but ye canna tak wing oot o' the man ... basically ye might as well chap the guys balls aff.

Robbo continued the fkn 'see fit happens' stuff re. players fillin in for roles they didna want or werena best suited for ... which started wi McInnes, or maybe afore? ... 'Hey , ken fit? if we sign a hillock o' utility players, it'll be like playin chess wi better pawns'

Aye .... except if ye hae a team o' fkn rooks fa can only move up doon an across, or bishops fa can only move diagonally ... or mair tae the point ... knights ... fa can only rin doon the wing so far - afore they either need tae move sidewyes ... like aff the pitch or cut inside and get the fkn baa taen aff them.

Noo ... if we had the money tae buy a team o' queens? ... Ah'm only sayin that cos Ah'm missin Donsdaft ... and Ah'm amused by the thought o' him respondin ... even though Ah've nae fathomed fit words hae would string tigither

... Ok ... Ah'm finished haein a fun noo. .. so

Ah dinna care how mony games Warnock has managed .... he has managed ... 5? here, and we hivna won a single game. A traffic cone would hae won at least one ... and that traffic cones twin brither would hae saved baith recent hun goals ... wi nae hands!

Ah ken Ah'm bein silly, but fan yer livin in 'ye couldna mak this sh!t up' land, then ony sh!t ye mak up maks better sense

But ... gettin back tae yer 'players takin the piss' comment.

Ah've said enough aboot change o' position/role .... except ... Ah hivna. Cos there's the mental factor. Ah proposed the idiotic idea o' Charlie Abel, ace Accordian player, swappin instruments wi ma ... it scares ma even tae think aboot it ... but .......

If Ah wis tae be playin in ma punk band, and Ah swapped wi either ma rhythm guitarist, bassist, or electric mando guy, Ah wid get on fine .... two o' those guys are better on lead guitar than I am onywye ... but .... as accomplished and multi-talented (or at worst 'bi-talented') as we all are .... it would all go tae sh!t!

Or ... as a punk band, we were charged with doing a country western gig, .... fk ... on paper? a caker ... Step 1. give our drummer some 'downer' drugs and a pair of cardboard drumsticks. replace our electric guitars and mando with a acoustic instruments .. sack our singer ... before he say's 'fʊck this - Ah'm oot o' here' ... and we we can do this .... we can play that formation .... but ... we will be fkn sh!t!

Ah think by now Ah've made ma point ... if ye dinna get it ... yev missed it .. but it's there

[rico94]

We are obviously in a bad place but this can be rectified and it’s upto our lazy (and wimpy) players. Train a lot harder and preferably full throttle, fully focus on football, improve on their skills etc outside of training, get physically stronger, develop a winning mentality, stop blaming others on the pitch and totally focus on your own game and love playing for Aberdeen.

I would hazard a guess that next to no one at the club is giving 100 percent. To be a top player you need to go above and beyond. That’s the price of success in football.

From what I’ve read Warnock was in Cornwall for 4 days last week.Only came back up here on Thursday so there wouldn’t have been that much time on the training pitch for him to prepare the team for Saturday.

I appreciate he’s got to go back to England to see his family but we are sleep walking our way into a relegation battle here.

He’s inherited a sh1t show so it’s not entirely down to Warnock but he needs to start earning his wages by getting a couple of wins sooner rather than later.

[NaeMairNeeps]

... except .... as a fkn interim manager ... surely that phrase 'ye can only pish wi the cock ye hiv' .... although flawed, is at least intuitive.

So if 3 at the back gets results ... then jist get fkn better playin 3 at the back

If 5? ... then jist get fkn better playin 5 at the back

4? ... ditto

If yer gonna play hoofball? ... practice it tae buggery in an' get good at it! ... cos ffs, right noo ... were ****e at it!

Remember ...Robbo's early success was all aboot 'gettin the basics right' ... it's a caker really ....

Hows about we lobby Cormack tae dae a raffle? .... fiver a ticket? ... sell 10,000 and we can buy a half decent Scots championship player? .. winner gets the manager's job subject tae 10 questions ... should we set those questions ... jist in case?

[NaeMairNeeps]

Again, we will leave that question, and your answer til a later point with the recruitment decision panel ... but congratulations on making it this far ( two smiley emoticons yaaay!!!!!!)

Q7: If it takes 4 men 6 hours to dig a hole, how long does it take 7 men to dig half a hole? ...... Please use paper and pen provided for your written answer ... you have 20 mins. ...... go!

OK, we've had our tea and rowie ... we're back ... we were only jokin about the 20 mins ... but hey ... if you canna dae that in 2 mins ... or at least ask, 'fit the **** has this tae dae wi managin a fitba club?' ... then ye need tae tell us fit the **** yer still daein here .... cos tell ye ken fit? Me an' ma colleague, in your position? Wid hae looked at oor collective savins, .... maybe get merriet. maybe nae, but at least kennin far we **** aff tae for a wee mintee .... right noo we're switherin atween Beniorm an' Bennachie ... an thinkin, even if one is nae affa nice, it winna be far fae the ither..... so wer happy as two pigs in the same ****e .

Onywye ... back tae the game .... yev aa passed that question by nae providin an answer. Yev maybe learned that the best response, in some situations, even if yev many options, is 'nae comment'! ... weel done ... so lets get on tae Q8

[NaeMairNeeps]

Q8 - Right now, we have read your CV, and all other candidate's CVs ... we know some of you .... obviously ... and know some of you have disguised your names .... but your CVs dont lie .... actually some of them fkn do ... so if you are guilty ... best withdraw ... in other words ... **** off!

... and ... Dermott Adamson ... ffs ... if you'd disguised your name a bit better, and maybe emailed your fkn applo fae yer sister in laws computer .. hey fkn presto ... we might hae been neen the wiser ... til we copped yer coupon ... so thanks Dek for the early opp tae tell ye by letter ... nah fk it Ah'm textin ye noo.... Dear Derek ...... ta for your interest .... in .. applyin for ... the .. menagerie post soon tae be available at Aberdeen FC ... You will no doubt be aware that we have a very capable and experienced manager in the dugout right now .... except hes nae in the dugout right now .... he's nae doot oot on the toon gettin his oats aff some 26 year auld ... but that's nithin tae dae wi; nithin ... and 'at's neen o yer business.

Dek min ... div ye ken ... if ye gie a monkey an unlimited amount o' time wi a typewriter, it wil eventually come up wi the complete works o' Shakespeare in every European language, and in it's spare time it will discard aboot 10,000 better plans for yer team tactics that you canna think o' ? go chat up some typewriter monkeys min ... ye might get lucky!

Onywye ..... Cheers for yer application ... Dekky ... but ... **** off! ...

Right ... remainin candidates ...... stand by .... you might nae hae been tellt tae **** aff yet ... but .... plenty time ... if yer worried aboot it? jist **** off noo and save ma some breath and a ****load o' fkn paperwork ... right ... lets go ... ....

Q9 - How many huns diz it tak tae change a fkn light bulb?

In case yev nae guessed .... yev tae think aboot this ane .... it might hae tae dae wi yer use o' substitutes ... or it might nae .... but .. yet again?

Me an ma darlin are awa oot for a smoke again ,,,, see ye in a wee mintee ..


OK, we're back ... fae oot the back, efter a whack o' baccy de la wack ... but wer good ... better than good ... if ye like that kinda goodness ..
good aye? better than goodness? ... fk sake ..... far wiz wi?? ... Oh aye ... the fkn gran fnaley ... the fkn granular fanny ... or the highest hurdle! (cue dramatic big chords fololowed by a short, sharp drum roll ........

Q 10 ................. :

Do you admire the Pope? Do you think the Pope is entitled to give himself an invigorating crotch rub when no-one is looking? Even if he is looking at or thinking about small children. Do you find your eyes gravitate towards small children? Are you that innocent man who loves small children, but would never harm them, but who just likes to watch through the school gates?

Your face has just failed the interview ... **** off!

Sooooo ... who do we have left ??

Pfff ... dunno .... last count 4 left answering the meaningless middle questions? Still there?

Fʉck it ... leave them to it .... jobless .... plenty time on their hands to spend doin fk all

[NaeMairNeeps]

Aberdeen FC have released a statement announcing they are not actively seeking a permanent manager at the moment. A spokesman for the club said:

"We were aware that our appointed Interim manager, Neil Wornock, feels very strongly that there is a work in progress at Aberdeen FC. The fact that Neil has remained locked in a female toilet cubicle, is a sign that he has no wish to further discuss Saturday;s game.

[The_Moog]

The current issues are not on Warnock. He’s inherited an absolute shïtshow. I bet he had no idea how bad it was when he took the job. If a guy with his track record cant get a tune out of this lot in the short term, I don’t think anyone can.

Folk clutching their pearls about what he said yesterday are hilarious. It was honest, but it was pretty tame.

Our players are soft. They are soft physically and soft mentally. Its been a problem for many AFC teams over many years, but this mob are right up there in the shytebag wet wipe stakes.

Its why you can’t sign players based on data. They must pass the eye test. Data doesn’t tell you if they’ve got the böllocks to stand up and be counted when the going gets tough.

Add in the fact that many of them genuinely aren’t very good at football, and that’s why we are where we are.

Warnock has to try and get a reaction. He will.

They’ll either:

a) man up a bit, show some personal pride and dig in enough to keep us clear of trouble.

b) go in a huff, sulk, and keep playing with the intensity and physicality of a lassies U12 side.

To be honest, my moneys on B, but no point blaming Warnock, the players first and foremost are responsible, closely followed by the recruitment team and club senior management…

[TheDeeDon]

Sorry Neeps, we'll have to agree to disagree on this one.

[NaeMairNeeps]

OK, Welcome tae yer interview ... Ah'm Jessie ... Ah spikk an affa lot ... like siccan a lot ma heid disna ken fit Ah'm sayin til it catches up ... hahahaha ... seriously ... ma heid will get embarrassed aboot that laugh in a couple mair seconds ...

An' Ah'm Hughie .... generally pronounced 'Shoowee' ... but please yersels cos Ah'm near 70 an' lang past gaein a fʊck. So let's git yokit .... eyes doon, hopes up ... hahahahaha ....


Q1 - Are you a hun, if so, **** off, but if not, see Q2.

Q2 - Do you have any relatives, loved ones, or close friends, who are huns, and may take advantage of you in any unforeseen scenario where they might be in a position to record you on their mobile phones singing 'hullo, hullo, we are the Billy boys ... etc" If so, **** off, but if not see Q3.

Q3 - Do you have, in your possession, a copy of 'Sailing' by Rod Stewart, or for that matter, any other physical media accredited to Rod Stewart, or fk it lets say, Elton John, Twisted Sister, Aerosmith, Devine, Pet Shop Boys, Village People, Soft Cell, Haircut 100? If so, **** off ... if no .. please answer Q4

Q4 - If you have worked in USA, do you understand acknowledge that the lowest paid jobs there are below survival rates, and totally dependent on customer tips, otherwise workers could die? .... and that does not work in the UK, least of all in football? If not **** off .... go take a walk ... keep on going downhill ... til you reach the sea ... then keep going ... sea water is good for your hair ... especially if you are standing up with your mouth wide open ... enjoy ... but ... otherwise ... see Q5.

Q5 - Imagine you are on a small aeroplane... your pilot has a heart attack .... he will only live if you, or one of your company, can take control and if the **** hits the fan, there are 2 parachutes. Your fellow passengers are Elton John, Eric Clapton, and Mark Knopfler .... what do you do? ... think about it .... don't **** off just yet, you have come this far without being told to **** off .... you are half way to becoming the manager of the Famous Aberdeen FC

Q6 - Can you tell us what is wrong with the following transcript of a popular Dons fans song ...

Stand free, wherever you may be
We are the famous Aberdeen
Durrant canna stand cos Simmie ****ed his knee
Cos we are are the famous Aberdeen.