Jokers corner

[av4ever]

A young blonde fears her husband is having an affair. She goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she finds him in bed with a redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps off the bed and starts begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself. Hysterically, the blonde responds to the husband: "Shut up, you're next.

[av4ever]

A teacher is teaching a class and she sees that Johnny isn't paying attention, so she asks him, "If there are three ducks sitting on a fence, and you shoot one, how many are left?" Johnny says, "None." The teacher asks, "Why?" Johnny says, "Because the shot scared them all off." The teacher says, "No, two, but I like how you're thinking." Johnny asks the teacher, "If you see three women walking out of an ice cream parlor, one is licking her ice cream, one is sucking her ice cream, and one is biting her ice cream, which one is married?" The teacher says, "The one sucking her ice cream." Johnny says, "No, the one with the wedding ring, but I like how you're thinking!"

[av4ever]

Three guys go to a ski lodge, and there aren't enough rooms, so they have to share a bed. In the middle of the night, the guy on the right wakes up and says, "I had this wild, vivid dream of getting a hand job!" The guy on the left wakes up, and unbelievably, he's had the same dream, too. Then the guy in the middle wakes up and says, "That's funny, I dreamed I was skiing!"

[yubbywelch]

8/10 dad

[ozfan]

Police are called to an apartment and find a woman holding a bloody 5-iron standing over a lifeless man.

The detective asks, “Ma’am, is that your husband?”

"Yes" says the woman.

"Did you hit him with that golf club?"

"Yes, yes, I did."

The woman begins to sob, drops the club, and puts her hands on face.

"How many times did you hit him?"

"I don’t know, five, six, maybe seven times. Just put me down for a five."

[villamon1]

Funny , this one is old but i love it.
A white horse walks into a bar, the barman grins broadly where upon the horse says: 'whats so funny?'
barman : 'we've got a drinkd after you'
horse : ' what...Eric??'


Sorry, i'll get me coat!!

[av4ever]

An man was sitting on a train across from a blonde wearing a tiny mini skirt.*
Despite his efforts, he was unable to stop staring at the top of her thighs.*
To his delight he realized she was a bit of a show off.*
She saw him staring and inquired, "Are you looking at my vagina?"*
“Yes, I’m sorry," he replied and promised to avert his eyes.*
"It’s quite all right," she replied, "It’s very talented, watch this, I’ll make it blow a kiss to you." Sure enough the vagina blew him a kiss.*
The old man was completely astounded and inquired what else it could do.*
"I can also make it wink," she replied. The old man stared in amazement as the vagina winked at him.*
"Come and sit next to me," she said, patting the seat. He moved over and she asked, “Would you like to stick a couple of fingers in?"*

Stunned, he asked, “You’re 5hittin' me, you mean it can whistle, too?”

[Arran007]

A husband and wife are trying to set up a new password for their computer. The husband puts, "My*****," and the wife falls on the ground laughing because on the screen it says, "Error. Not long enough."

[Arran007]

A man kills a deer and takes it home to cook for dinner. Both he and his wife decide that they won't tell the kids what kind of meat it is, but will give them a clue and let them guess. The dad said, "Well it's what Mommy calls me sometimes." The little girl screamed to her brother, "Don't eat it. Its an asshole!

[Arran007]

A mother is in the kitchen making dinner for her family when her daughter walks in. “Mother, where do babies come from?” The mother thinks for a few seconds and says, “Well dear, Mommy and Daddy fall in love and get married. One night they go into their bedroom, they kiss and hug, and have ***.” The daughter looks puzzled so the mother continues, “That means the daddy puts his ***** in the mommy’s vagina. That’s how you get a baby, honey.” The child seems to comprehend. “Oh, I see, but the other night when I came into your room you had daddy’s ***** in your mouth. What do you get when you do that?” “Jewelry, my dear. Jewelry.”