In and Around

[404 error]

After the success of the Youtube Takeaway Eater singing us a song at the last home game, the Oakwell Entertainment Team had a problem on their hands - what to do next? The idea they came up with looked genius... on paper.
With Wife from The Family choosing to do a bit of shopping at a crowded Meadowhall, it was up to Dad and Son to set up our entertainment. Dad made a 'touchline' of cones down one side while Son earned his keep by setting up his cones up one centimetre away from the real touchline. On to the game itself. Josh from Donny was 22 years old while forgetful Gary from Carlton was 50ish. There's nothing more we need to know from a stranger than their age, so thanks for asking Match Day Announcer.
The game kicked off with three or four friends of Team Josh and Team Gary blocking the view for the East Stand and, well, nothing much happened really. After the competitors trundled around for a minute, Match Day Announcer decided that the game needed hyping up. He did this by laughing at nothing. Then with Josh two goals up, Gary finally fell over... Humour is a strange thing isn't it. We all have our favourite comedians and jokes but it's fair to say that Match Day Announcer likes slapstick. Gary must be "on the sauce" we were informed for the first of many times as poor Gaz lay upside down, before being told that no one was going to help him get upright. With visions of the second half being played with an inflatable hazard in midfield, Gary took one for the team and slithered though his own sweat to extract himself. A tactical switch meant that he played the rest of the game with the inflatable around his waist meaning he couldn't actually move. Josh took a four goal lead and then Gary threw in the towel and said he wasn't going to play anymore. What a tale to tell his children! - humiliation, failure and quitting.

To top it all off we had in game entertainment in the second half too! The Character, buoyed by shaking Liam Roberts' hand before kick off, decided to add to the festive cheer. Sat near the front of the Ponty so all the Gazelles could see him, he was encouraged to 'bounce in a minute'. The Character had prepared for this, and so when he finally took his t shirt off to the joy of everyone in the ground, we saw what he'd done. He'd actually put baubles on his nipples. Incredible! Some say Peter Kay and Victoria Wood are funny but have they ever put baubles on their nipples and 'danced' behind a goal in December? I doubt it.
Thank goodness Match Day Announcer didn't witness this hilarity. If he had done then he could well have collapsed with laughing - a final 'on the sauce' mantra leaving his lips before the air ambulance was called.

[Jules88]

After the success of the Youtube Takeaway Eater singing us a song at the last home game, the Oakwell Entertainment Team had a problem on their hands - what to do next? The idea they came up with looked genius... on paper.
With Wife from The Family choosing to do a bit of shopping at a crowded Meadowhall, it was up to Dad and Son to set up our entertainment. Dad made a 'touchline' of cones down one side while Son earned his keep by setting up his cones up one centimetre away from the real touchline. On to the game itself. Josh from Donny was 22 years old while forgetful Gary from Carlton was 50ish. There's nothing more we need to know from a stranger than their age, so thanks for asking Match Day Announcer.
The game kicked off with three or four friends of Team Josh and Team Gary blocking the view for the East Stand and, well, nothing much happened really. After the competitors trundled around for a minute, Match Day Announcer decided that the game needed hyping up. He did this by laughing at nothing. Then with Josh two goals up, Gary finally fell over... Humour is a strange thing isn't it. We all have our favourite comedians and jokes but it's fair to say that Match Day Announcer likes slapstick. Gary must be "on the sauce" we were informed for the first of many times as poor Gaz lay upside down, before being told that no one was going to help him get upright. With visions of the second half being played with an inflatable hazard in midfield, Gary took one for the team and slithered though his own sweat to extract himself. A tactical switch meant that he played the rest of the game with the inflatable around his waist meaning he couldn't actually move. Josh took a four goal lead and then Gary threw in the towel and said he wasn't going to play anymore. What a tale to tell his children! - humiliation, failure and quitting.

To top it all off we had in game entertainment in the second half too! The Character, buoyed by shaking Liam Roberts' hand before kick off, decided to add to the festive cheer. Sat near the front of the Ponty so all the Gazelles could see him, he was encouraged to 'bounce in a minute'. The Character had prepared for this, and so when he finally took his t shirt off to the joy of everyone in the ground, we saw what he'd done. He'd actually put baubles on his nipples. Incredible! Some say Peter Kay and Victoria Wood are funny but have they ever put baubles on their nipples and 'danced' behind a goal in December? I doubt it.
Thank goodness Match Day Announcer didn't witness this hilarity. If he had done then he could well have collapsed with laughing - a final 'on the sauce' mantra leaving his lips before the air ambulance was called.

Funnier than Collins’ assessment of the game…
More factual too.

.