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Thread: The "Maroon" Replica Shorts

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Posts
    1,148

    The "Maroon" Replica Shorts

    I have a dilemma, that i have partially resolved, but keep reading - it's not worth it.

    For my birthday (28th December) - that's why the site crashed over Xmas, thanks for the overwhelming birthday wishes - i received a pair of our very nice away replica shorts.

    Just what i wanted. Walking around town with the ram on my groin, and my milk bottle legs out.

    Couldn't wait to put them on, i even thought Barnsley away might be a good day to showcase my new threads.

    So, having got back from London on my birthday, i unwrapped them, put them on and stood in front of the full length wardrobe mirrors (thanks Homebase).

    To my astonishment my Mrs had guessed my waist size to perfection. They were tight, but not too tight. Snug would be the word to describe them. A bit too snug, though, around my Womb Ferret.

    Does/did anyone else have this problem? You can literally see the outline of my Love Rocket. £22 is a bit much for shorts limited to house wear only - and then i'd have to get changed

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jun 2012
    Posts
    2,231

    re: The "Maroon" Replica Shorts

    Sweet baby jesus what a post!

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Posts
    22,817

    re: The "Maroon" Replica Shorts

    You could do what I do and just sling the old chap over your shoulder. mind you would need a much bigger waist to do that

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Posts
    1,148

    re: The "Maroon" Replica Shorts

    Quote Originally Posted by Rattea
    You could do what I do and just sling the old chap over your shoulder. mind you would need a much bigger waist to do that
    Why don't you always post like this?

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Posts
    6,799

    re: The "Maroon" Replica Shorts

    What I cant figure out, Dave, is why you went down to Homebase to check out your overstuffed shorts problem. Don't you have a mirror at home? Are you therefore a vampire?

    Sorry to say that I suspect the replica shorts market is aimed at the prepubescent buyer, where manhoods have yet to expand to your alleged massive size. This could explain their snugfit.

    Can I recommend perhaps wearing a nappy to mask your embarrassment?

  6. #6
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Posts
    1,979

    re: The "Maroon" Replica Shorts

    Gaffer tape it to your leg, problem solved.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Posts
    20,104

    re: The "Maroon" Replica Shorts

    Quote Originally Posted by Rattea
    You could do what I do and just sling the old chap over your shoulder. mind you would need a much bigger waist to do that

    I did ponder the connection between massive **** and Rattea!

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Posts
    7,399

    re: The "Maroon" Replica Shorts

    Quote Originally Posted by dcfcdavecov
    You could do what I do and just sling the old chap over your shoulder. mind you would need a much bigger waist to do that
    Why don't you always post like this? [/quote]

    A chastened Rat is more amiable rat clearly.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Posts
    1,148

    re: The "Maroon" Replica Shorts

    Quote Originally Posted by roger_ramjet
    What I cant figure out, Dave, is why you went down to Homebase to check out your overstuffed shorts problem. Don't you have a mirror at home? Are you therefore a vampire?

    Sorry to say that I suspect the replica shorts market is aimed at the prepubescent buyer, where manhoods have yet to expand to your alleged massive size. This could explain their snugfit.

    Can I recommend perhaps wearing a nappy to mask your embarrassment?
    Should have been clearer. They were purchased in Homebase, constructed poorly by Homebase and all complaints made to Homebase were ignored by Homebase. Private dig i should have left out/explained

    Onto the matter of my alleged manhood. I think it's average to girthy, nothing special - according to my mrs.

    Personally, i think the problem is the lack of pockets that would give you the extra layer.

    Might email DCFC about it.

    Thanks everyone for the constructive advice. It's been noted.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Posts
    22,817

    re: The "Maroon" Replica Shorts

    there are training shorts with pockets I beleive!

    Quote Originally Posted by swaledale
    You could do what I do and just sling the old chap over your shoulder. mind you would need a much bigger waist to do that

    I did ponder the connection between massive **** and Rattea![/quote]

    And clearly you concluded there is no connection between you and me

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