Ed Milliband

[lazaat]

Ed Milliband was visiting a London primary school and the class was in the middle of a discussion related to words and their meanings.

The teacher asked Mr Milliband if he would like to lead the discussion on the word 'Tragedy'.

So the illustrious leader of the Labour Party asked the class for an example of a 'Tragedy'

A little boy stood up and offered: 'If my best friend, who lives on a farm, is playing in the field and a tractor runs over him and kills him, that would be a tragedy.'

'Incorrect,' said Milliband. 'That would be an accident.'

A little girl raised her hand: 'If a school bus carrying fifty children drove over a cliff, killing everybody inside, that would be a tragedy.'

'I'm afraid not', explained Milliband, 'that's what we would refer to as a great loss'.

The room went silent. No other children volunteered. Milliband searched the room.

'Isn't there someone here who can give me an example of a tragedy?'

Finally, at the back of the room, little Johnny raised his ha

[alfinyalcabo]

A Scottish couple took in an 18-year-old girl as a lodger. She asked if
she could have a bath, but the woman of the house told her they didn't
have a bath, although if she wanted one, she could use a tin bath in
front of the fire.
"Monday's the best night, when my husband goes out to darts," she said. The girl agreed to have a bath the following Monday. After her husband had gone to the pub for his darts match, the woman filled the bath and watched the girl get undressed. She was surprised to
see that the lass didn't have any pubic hair. She mentioned this to her husband when he came home. He didn't believe her, so she said:
"Next Monday, when you go to darts, leave a little early and wait in the back garden. I'll leave a gap in the curtains so you can see for
yourself."
So the following Monday, while the girl again got undressed, the wife asked: "Do you shave?"
"No," replied the girl. "I've just never grown any hair down there. Do
you have hair?"
"Oh, yes," said the woman, and she pul

[lazaat]

Brilliant Alf brilliant

[Altobelli]

Brilliant Alf brilliant

"Brilliant Alf brilliant"

But not Brilliant enough to give the fella a "like", You just cannot educate these Paddy bastids

[claw84]

Never mind Alf, Ive given you a like.

[Oldtimeram]

Three tight fisted blokes on a skiing trip to Austria are staying in a tiny chalet with a single bed. However, as they are all good mates and have known each other for years and none of them travel on the other bus, it was fine.

Anyway, they drew short straws to see who had the luxury of sleeping in the middle. Michael won, so poor old Alfred and Lawrence had to sleep on the edge of the bed.

The first day they had a great day skiing, doing all the black runs (or is that racist?) and the moguls. When they got back to the chalet they all had a hearty bowl of goulash and plenty of wine and beer before crashing out into a relaxing dreamy sleep. Anyway, at about 3am, Lawrence had to get up and wash his pajamas because he had had a rather lovely dream about a lovely young lady who had been wearing nothing but Rams scarf. He went back to bed happy and fell back into a deep sleep feeling very pleased with himself.

About 10 minutes later Alfred woke up from his lovely dream and had to g

[Oldtimeram]

If you don't get it, picture in your mind someone cross country skiing