jokes

[morbs]

Statistically... 9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape.

[morbs]

This morning on the way to work I drove into the back of a car, at some lights, whilst not really paying attention.

The driver got out and he was a dwarf.

He said, "I'm not happy."

I replied, "Well, which one are you then?"

[morbs]

Sorry Morbs...this was just not funny so it had to go

[pilgrimwhite]

The charity opening night of a pantomime in aid of paranoid schizophrenics descended into chaos yesterday when someone in the audience shouted


"He's behind you!!!".......

[pilgrimwhite]

just got myself an Oscar Pistorius Advent Calendar that Smirnoff have just brought out



There's a shot behind every door

[pilgrimwhite]

Gutted the wife has left me!

She's took the Sky Box and all my Bob Marley records too




No woman no Sky

[Stainlessly]

A grieving Yorkshireman goes into a funeral parlour to arrange the funeral of his beloved wife. When asked what he would like on her gravestone he said I would like to keep it simple. I would like her at the top. Her date of birth and death in the middle and at the bottom I would like "She was thine." Very good said the director, pop in next week and you can check that the headstone is as you wish.
The next week he goes back to inspect the work. The was correct as was the date of her birth and death, but the bottom line read "She was thin."
The husband pointed out the mistake and that an "e" was missing. The Director apologised profusely and promised to rectify the error by the day of the funeral.
On the day of the funeral the husband was shocked to see that the headstone had indeed been changed, and now said "E, she was thin,"

[leedsutdman]

The man who invented predictive text has died, his funnel will be on sundial

[wortleygirl]

Bumped this for hairyjerry....

[pete1967b]

this one has been erased cos it weren't nice

And this is on the joke thread.............Not anymore it has been erased