I was looking in my wardrobe the other day when I noticed a secret passageway through the back.
I pushed my way through and found myself in a strange mystical world and when the mist cleared I could see my neighbour sitting naked in a bath.
Was at a funeral yesterday and asked the priest for the WIFI password
"Have some respect for the dead!" He said
I replied
" Is that all lower case? '
I was looking in my wardrobe the other day when I noticed a secret passageway through the back.
I pushed my way through and found myself in a strange mystical world and when the mist cleared I could see my neighbour sitting naked in a bath.
The owner of a drug store walks in to find a guy leaning heavily against a wall.
The owner asks the clerk, "What's with that guy over there by the wall?"
The clerk says, "Well, he came in here this morning to get something for his cough. I couldn't find the cough syrup, so I gave him an entire bottle of laxative."
The owner says, "You idiot! You can't treat a cough with laxatives!"
The clerk says, "Oh yeah? Look at him, he's afraid to cough!"
A blind man enters a bar and find his way to a barstool.
After ordering a drink, and sitting there for a while, the blind guy yells to the bartender, “Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?”
The bar immediately becomes absolutely quiet.
In a husky, deep voice, the woman next to him says, “Before you tell that joke, you should know something. The bartender is blonde, the bouncer is blonde and I’m a 6′ tall, 200 pound blonde with a black belt in karate. What’s more, the fella sitting next to me is blonde and he’s a weightlifter. The woman to your right is a blonde, and she’s a pro wrestler. Think about it seriously, mister. You still wanna tell that blonde joke?”
The blind guy says, “Nah, not if I’m gonna have to explain it five times.”
Was at a funeral yesterday. I asked if there was a password for the Wi-Fi. The Priest shouted 'Have some respect for the dead." I asked if it was upper or lower case.......
A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses.
She started her class by saying, "Everyone who thinks they're stupid, stand up!"
After a few seconds, Little Johnny stood up.
The teacher said, "Do you think you're stupid, Little Johnny?"
"No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!"
Just realised I reposted Pilgrims funeral joke. Thought I'd seen it on FB ffs.
Age.........
Good to see this has been resurrected
Last edited by CalverleyBoy; 29-03-2017 at 11:28 PM.