Ok. That's better. If you could just persuade him to shake new punters hands without him first checking to see if they have claret and blue clay soil under their fingernails, then that would be a big help too.
If you'd only invested a little more in your counterfeit wage IOU's, and got a nice fake watermark added too, like I suggested, then I might have been fooled by said fake wage IOU's, thus saving you the extra cost of having them reprinted.
Like I told you before, if you'd gone to the surgery, had the 20 years of ear wax, the ball of string, 3 paper clips and shortbread crumbs that you had stashed in your ears in the event of a VM emergency, then you might have heard that I was actually asking you if you had any dogs. Well, if Yubby was getting a kitten, then I thought it only fair that I get a puppy too. Next thing I knew, I was having a ball and chain clamped to my ankle, before being forced to sign said slave labour contract. Probably a counterfeit one at that, too.
Well, that's the first time in all these years I have heard you utter the word please. Obviously mixing with high class gals such as myself, LMV, and Rosie has done you the world of good. Sort of kind of.
Wasn't the sign meant to read "2 hot buns for the price of one"?. The special ones you keep hidden away behind the bar. You've been promising to show them to us for ages now.