Originally Posted by
57vintage
Flying Pigs' column in today's normally-complicit Psycho & Junta goes rogue under the byline of ex-Don (he says) Kenny Cordiner:
CAVA KENNY CORDINER, THE FOOTBALL PUNDIT WHO NEVER SETTLED OUT OF COURT
Football fans got good news this week, with Nicola Stugeron saying that we can all pile into the stands again from Monday. I’m not an expert on incommunicology, but I is delighted that the Codona’s Virus has decided not to enter football stadiums just in time for the end of the winter break.
This is great news for the Dandies, who face The Rangers on Tuesday night in a classic three-pointer at Pittodrie.
The Rangers gets a lot of stick from the Dons fans because, while they is technologically a brand new club, they still claim all the titles what the original club won. Even the ones they got while they was fiddling their taxes.
But, inadvertently, their example could be a lifeboat for another national figure what has come a cropper.
Poor Prince Andrew has had a difficult few months. He’s had his good name dragged through the mud, had to exclude hisself from lucrative Lynx advertising contracts by admitting that he can’t sweat, and been forced to relive the hell of a trip to Pizza Express in Woking.
On top of that, the poor lad has had to hand back all of his royal and military titles to the Queen. My old mum once constipated my Mitre size five after I got mud all over her washing playing headers and volleys in our drying green, so I can really emphasise with how Andrew must be feeling.
I says to her I says: “Come on, mum, it’s only mud.” And she says: “Mud sticks, Kenneth, especially when it’s proper thick mud like that and it’s definitely your fault.”
But, if Andrew follows Scottish football, he’ll know that there is a solution. All he has to do is start calling his self “The” Prince Andrew and all that titles will be his again.