I can't find the full lot of them but I've found a few. I know a couple of you were asking...


Christine Hamilton

Ooooooohhhh... a tough ane!

It wid indeed involve a trip tae the basement, if only tae mak' sure she disna hae a co(k and ba's. Assuming this wisna the case, ah wid probably gie it a push for twa reasons; 1- ah could shut ma een and think aboot Nick Clegg's wife and 2- she clearly is a goer and, in these cynical times, thon has tae count for something.

At her age, her spread oot vag1na wid look like a squashed sparrow, but ah reckon ah could still coax Little Walter intae half-a-nasty, so at least ah could thumb yin in. Yince ah'd got a decent rhythm going, and ah watched ma Miniature Hero sliding in and ootay her Liver-Lapels, nature wid tak' its course.

Shame is for the weak! Or at least for the next morning... Freezing

Ah realise that admitting tae getting a stiffy fae Christine Hamilton is embarrassing, so ah wid hae tae tak' it oot on her wi' a fierce bout o' anal vandal-jism. She wid probably like it, if no' the fact ah wid furiously quote Nye Bevan and Clement Atlee's finest speeches while ah did it.

The "leftie cliqueist" that ah ah'm.

Sic a bout o' class warfare (the richt (and Bliar)'s greatest feat in recent years has been the perpetuation o' the lie that thir's nae class division any mair - fit a pile o' 5hite) wid hae me at the edge o' spoffage in nae time at ah and ah wid dae ma level best tae whitewash her lower colon. Urrrgh!

Christine wid then turn roond and a knowing look wid pass a'tween us. She wid wink at me, shove her richt mitt as far up her ruined sphincter as she could (which wid be quite a lot, gie'in' the damage ah'd inflicted). Yin squelchy scoop later, she'd pull her hand oot and smear it on her slimy husband's face.

Because ye just ken that Neil Hamilton is the type tae; 1- either like seeing his wife pumped, or too feart tae stop her being pumped and 2- likes tae hae anithir mannie's 5hite and man-druff smeared on his face. The tory (unt.

Then ah'd probably throw them baith in the incinerator, Fritzl-style. Yin co(k ootay five.