I’ve thought about this a lot over the years and I refuse to go out to something frivolous like “Always look on the bright side of life” or the Match of the day theme tune like other people have known.

I don’t want something like “Time to say goodbye” like they picked for my mother in law.......too poignant although I wish the f king father in law would take the hint......the old b a s t a rd never liked me and he’s determined to use every last penny at the care home.......he’ll live until he’s 160 just to make sure.

My number one choice for years has been “More than a feeling” by Boston but in recent times I’m tempted by the ironic title of “Comfortably numb” by Pink Floyd.

That guitar solo by David Gilmour is something I’d like around me one last time before they light the oven!

It’ll also make them all stand still for nine minutes in that cold church and force them to remember what a bloody good bloke I was.

That solo though........how do you get to be that good!?

I should’ve learned the guitar........easiest way into a birds pants is playing a guitar well when you’re a younger bloke.

So what are you going out to?