+ Visit Leeds United FC Mad for Latest News, Transfer Gossip, Fixtures and Match Results
Page 16 of 16 FirstFirst ... 6141516
Results 151 to 153 of 153

Thread: It all gone quiet on here - so a quick check to make sure you are all ok

  1. #151
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Posts
    7,655

  2. #152
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Posts
    2,488
    A duck walks into a pub and orders a pint of beer and a ham sandwich.

    The barman looks at him and says,

    "Hang on! You're a duck."

    "I see your eyes are working," replies the duck.

    "And you can talk!"
    Exclaims the barman.

    "I see your ears are working, too,"
    Says the duck.

    "Now if you don't mind, can I have my beer and my sandwich please?"

    "Certainly, sorry about that,"

    Says the barman as he pulls the duck's pint.

    "It's just we don't get many ducks in this pub. What are you doing around this way?"

    "I'm working on the building site across the road," Explains the duck.

    "I'm a plasterer."

    The flabbergasted barman cannot believe the duck and wants to learn more, but takes the hint when the duck pulls out a newspaper from his bag and proceeds to read it.

    So, the duck reads his paper, drinks his beer, eats his sandwich, bids the barman good day and leaves.

    The same thing happens for two weeks.

    Then one day the circus comes to town.

    The ringmaster comes into the pub for a pint and the barman says to him

    "You're with the circus, aren't you? Well, I know this duck that could be just brilliant in your circus. He talks, drinks beer, eats sandwiches, reads the newspaper and everything!"

    "Sounds marvellous," says the ringmaster, handing over his business card.

    "Get him to give me a call."

    So the next day when the duck comes into the pub the barman says,

    "Hey Mr Duck, I reckon I can line you up with a top job, paying really good money."

    "I'm always looking for the next job,"

    Says the duck.

    "Where is it?"

    "At the circus,"

    Says the barman.

    "The circus?"

    Repeats the duck.

    "That's right,"

    Replies the barman.

    "The circus?"

    The duck asks again.

    with the big tent?"

    "Yeah," the barman replies.

    "With all the animals who live in cages, and performers who live in caravans?" says the duck.

    "Of course," the barman replies.

    "And the tent has canvas sides and a big canvas roof with a hole in the middle?" persists the duck.

    "That's right!" says the barman.

    The duck shakes his head in amazement, and says .. . ......

    "What the feck would they want with a plasterer??!"

  3. #153
    Join Date
    Sep 2011
    Posts
    14,707
    Name:  94147757_10213187288996698_3139566435622191104_n.jpg
Views: 185
Size:  31.8 KB

Page 16 of 16 FirstFirst ... 6141516

Forum Info

Footymad Forums offer you the chance to interact and discuss all things football with fellow fans from around the world, and share your views on footballing issues from the latest, breaking transfer rumours to the state of the game at international level and everything in between.

Whether your team is battling it out for the Premier League title or struggling for League survival, there's a forum for you!

Gooners, Mackems, Tractor Boys - you're all welcome, please just remember to respect the opinions of others.

Click here for a full list of the hundreds of forums available to you

The forums are free to join, although you must play fair and abide by the rules explained here, otherwise your ability to post may be temporarily or permanently revoked.

So what are you waiting for? Register now and join the debate!

(these forums are not actively moderated, so if you wish to report any comment made by another member please report it.)



Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •