59-60opedia

[The Bedlington Terrier]

Why do people who live in Morecambe have two heeads ?

Perhaps they have been listening to old Blow Job and need two heads to help understand him?

Boris got me all confused-on Sunday night, so hopefully this will help clear matters up.

Our 4-year olds can go to school, but university students who have paid for the tuition they have not had and the accommodation they are not living in, cannot go to university.

A teacher can go to school with many 4-year olds that they are not related to but cannot see one 4-year old that they are related to.
You can sit in a park, but not today or Tuesday but by Wednesday that will be OKAY.

You can meet one person from another household for a chat or to sunbathe, but not two people so if you know two people from another household you have to pick your favourite. Hopefully, you are also their favourite person from your household, or this could be awkward. But possibly you are not. But as I can’t go closer than 2m to the one you choose any way you wouldn’t think having the other one sat next to them would matter - unless two people would restrict your eyeline too much and prevent you from being alert.

You can work all day with your colleagues, but you can’t sit in their garden for a chat after work.

You can now do unlimited exercise when quite frankly just doing an hour a day feels like you are some kind of fitness guru. I can think of lots of things that I would like to be unlimited, but exercise definitely isn’t one of them.

You can drive to other destinations, although which destinations is unclear.

The buses are still running past your house, but you should not get on one. We should just let empty buses drive around so bus drivers are not doing nothing.

It will soon be time to quarantine people coming into the country by air, but not just yet. It really is too soon, and not ever if you are coming from France, although I have no idea why? Perhaps the French version of coronavirus wouldn’t come to the UK maybe?

Our youngest children will go back to school first because they are notoriously good at not touching things they should not, maintain personal space at all times and never, ever randomly lick you.

We are somewhere in between 3.5 and 4.5 on a 5-point scale where 5 is all of the virus and 1 is none of the virus but 2,3 and 4 can be anything you would like it to be really. Some of the virus? A bit of the virus? Just enough virus to see off those over 70s who were told to self-isolate, but now we’ve realised that they’ve done that a bit too well despite us offloading coronavirus patients into care homes and now we are claiming that was never said in the first place, even though it’s in writing in the stay at home guidance.

The slogan is not stay at home anymore, so we don’t have to stay at home. Except we do. Unless we cannot, in which case we should go out. But there will be fines if we break the rules. So, please do not do that.

Please do not forget to STAY ALERT, which Robert Jenrick has explained actually means STAY HOME as much as possible. Obviously.
Control the virus. Well, I could never, ever control my two dogs and I could actually see them. Plus, I know a bit about dogs and truly extraordinarily little about controlling viruses.

Save lives. Always preferable to not saving lives, I would say, so I will obviously try my best with that one, although hopefully I do not need telling to do that. I know lots of our NHS staff personally and they do not like to brag, but saving lives is something they do every day.

So, there you are Alf. Would two heads do it? If you are the weirdo wanting unlimited exercise, then enjoy. But not until Wednesday. Obviously.

[alfinyalcabo]

Cheers 59/60..We are thinking of going to Hest Bank after Wednesday and cycling to Heysham and back. Will that be okay in the latest lockdown news.?

[sinkov]

Cheers 59/60..We are thinking of going to Hest Bank after Wednesday and cycling to Heysham and back. Will that be okay in the latest lockdown news.?

Sounds perfectly acceptable to me Alfie, but best check with the local Tourist Board first, they might have something to say about it.

[sinkov]

"Boris got me all confused-on Sunday night, so hopefully this will help clear matters up."

BDS, there is no known cure, the long term effects are not yet clear, but it's not looking good.

[The Bedlington Terrier]

Boris got most rational folk confused sinkov. Because you are far from rational - you are excused mon ami.

[1959_60]

Cheers 59/60..We are thinking of going to Hest Bank after Wednesday and cycling to Heysham and back. Will that be okay in the latest lockdown news.?

Good for you! If you need refreshment then let me know and I'll put a brew on. We are on the front about a quarter of a mile up from the Midland, towards Heysham.

Serious offer, it would be good to chat (or shout from a distance!) on the prom? Let me know.

[alfinyalcabo]

Good for you! If you need refreshment then let me know and I'll put a brew on. We are on the front about a quarter of a mile up from the Midland, towards Heysham.

Serious offer, it would be good to chat (or shout from a distance!) on the prom? Let me know.

Only joking mate,next time we do go though ,I will let you know .

[1959_60]

Great Alf, let me know.

[Norder]

Perhaps they have been listening to old Blow Job and need two heads to help understand him?

Boris got me all confused-on Sunday night, so hopefully this will help clear matters up.

Our 4-year olds can go to school, but university students who have paid for the tuition they have not had and the accommodation they are not living in, cannot go to university.

A teacher can go to school with many 4-year olds that they are not related to but cannot see one 4-year old that they are related to.
You can sit in a park, but not today or Tuesday but by Wednesday that will be OKAY.

You can meet one person from another household for a chat or to sunbathe, but not two people so if you know two people from another household you have to pick your favourite. Hopefully, you are also their favourite person from your household, or this could be awkward. But possibly you are not. But as I can’t go closer than 2m to the one you choose any way you wouldn’t think having the other one sat next to them would matter - unless two people would restrict your eyeline too much and prevent you from being alert.

You can work all day with your colleagues, but you can’t sit in their garden for a chat after work.

You can now do unlimited exercise when quite frankly just doing an hour a day feels like you are some kind of fitness guru. I can think of lots of things that I would like to be unlimited, but exercise definitely isn’t one of them.

You can drive to other destinations, although which destinations is unclear.

The buses are still running past your house, but you should not get on one. We should just let empty buses drive around so bus drivers are not doing nothing.

It will soon be time to quarantine people coming into the country by air, but not just yet. It really is too soon, and not ever if you are coming from France, although I have no idea why? Perhaps the French version of coronavirus wouldn’t come to the UK maybe?

Our youngest children will go back to school first because they are notoriously good at not touching things they should not, maintain personal space at all times and never, ever randomly lick you.

We are somewhere in between 3.5 and 4.5 on a 5-point scale where 5 is all of the virus and 1 is none of the virus but 2,3 and 4 can be anything you would like it to be really. Some of the virus? A bit of the virus? Just enough virus to see off those over 70s who were told to self-isolate, but now we’ve realised that they’ve done that a bit too well despite us offloading coronavirus patients into care homes and now we are claiming that was never said in the first place, even though it’s in writing in the stay at home guidance.

The slogan is not stay at home anymore, so we don’t have to stay at home. Except we do. Unless we cannot, in which case we should go out. But there will be fines if we break the rules. So, please do not do that.

Please do not forget to STAY ALERT, which Robert Jenrick has explained actually means STAY HOME as much as possible. Obviously.
Control the virus. Well, I could never, ever control my two dogs and I could actually see them. Plus, I know a bit about dogs and truly extraordinarily little about controlling viruses.

Save lives. Always preferable to not saving lives, I would say, so I will obviously try my best with that one, although hopefully I do not need telling to do that. I know lots of our NHS staff personally and they do not like to brag, but saving lives is something they do every day.

So, there you are Alf. Would two heads do it? If you are the weirdo wanting unlimited exercise, then enjoy. But not until Wednesday. Obviously.

Excellent summation of this fuzzy mindphook - BT !